smiling

SOLPA SMILE PLEASE!








Mid late august Blank Noise did a two week workshop at Srishti. The students Kinshuk, Neha, Tanvee. Prerna. Piyush. Pooja. Shrikar worked on a number of projects, one of which involved smiling in public. The Action Heroes team went to Majestic Bus Stand and walked about individually with a smile on their face. Why smile?
“what would it be like if everyone on the street smiled?”

Would the experience of being in public amidst ‘strangers’ be less threatening? How would a smile be interpreted? How does a smile affect the dynamics between strangers in a context where it is not normal to smile, it is normal to be stared at if you are female, that too from a socio economic background which isn’t the represented group in that public. ( majestic bus stand) It isn’t even seen as normal for women to make eye contact here! The group made eye contact and smiled. Are there 'ways of smiling' as there are 'ways of looking'? Does the smile have a tone?

The male action heroes (Kinshuk, Shrikar, Piyush) smiled too. How was their smile interpreted? How did women respond to them smiling? How did other men respond? These were some of our questions. Here’s what the new Action Heroes have to say about it.

important : read with a smile


Kinshuk:
Some people were really surprised and amused when they saw me
smiling continuously. When I smiled at people only when I smiled at people only when they were closer to me,it made them conscious. If i just stood in their way and smiled at them,they suddenly deviated from their way. After sometime people also reciprocated smiles. Most of the women walk with their gaze fixed to the ground,and also
they ignore until necessary. Maybe, the fear of exceeding or challenging boundaries of private spaces into public spaces stops people from smiling at each other. What if from childhood , we are conditioned to smile at every stranger,rather than being on our guard.


Pooja Gupta:
It was interesting how most people looked away specially the women while the men seemed more curious as to why we were smiling at everybody. Some of them at first acknowledged the smile, but, when smiled at again did not seem to like it as they seemed to have thought of us being up to something. Also, it was more accepted by people if we smiled at them individually whereas if there were too many of us smiling at them then they simply wondered why and looked away or walked away. All this comes back once again to the point where we see in human nature, that everybody at all times is looking for reason. Why is it that we have to have a reason for everything we do ?

Neha Bhat:
Madam, kitna charge karega?” ( "how much will you charge?")
This is was my first experience of being mistaken for a sex worker and being approached outright at a bus stop. Was I leering? Was I ‘sexily’ dressed? Did I wink and gesture lewdly? No, all did was smile.
Maybe I didn’t smile at only the people I knew. Maybe I did make eye contact with a person to make the smile on my face evident. Are these things ‘wrong’?
Did I then, ask to be followed and be categorized as someone ready to be picked up from the street?
Smiling at the bus stop invoked responses of various kinds- from shock, to surprise to mostly, thrill and delight in a man’s face. It was observed that women looked away and ignored the smile, that I made evident, was for them, altogether. Along with socio-cultural and economic aspects of a response to a smile, I concluded a connection to geographic location .Also, young boys from the North Eastern part of the country, seemed to respond in a way that was far more open than a young man from any other part of the nation.
What were the intonations of the kind of smile I was giving?

When is a smile threatening?
How could I use a smile as a defense mechanism?
There were also questions of the definitions of ‘shady’, ‘creepy’ and ‘slutty’ smiles that I dealt with.
Although all these will always remain unanswered, a project like this took smiling from a casual body-lingual sign and magnified it to emphasize the deep rooted connotations of small gestures in our behavior, we often ignore or take for granted.

Tanvee Nabar:
Men were the easiest to make eye contact with.
They mostly walk making eye contact with people in general so intentionally making it is not so hard. They reacted in different ways to the smiling. Some returned it. Some were a bit off-footed and just walked on by or stared. Some unfortunately got quite excited by this gesture and followed me around. Out of some 5 pursuers, only two were threatening in anyway and one only because he was wearing a mask. What was interesting was that the curious ones asked me questions, which according to plan we were not allowed to answer – so in french because they so avidly believed i was not from this country. Which on hindsight made me think that maybe they thought smiling was a cultural thing.

Prerna Bishnoi:
One man almost thought I was going to start a conversation and opened his mouth to speak. Smile is the beginning or an end of a conversation not the conversation itself?
I smiled, they smiled, I smiled some more, they smiled some more- I broadened their smile, that’s when most men shied away.
I broke into a smile- they did too.
Then, there were those who took the effort to uncover their mouths and face the deadly swine flu virus, only to smile at me.
Ah! The gaze, I experimented with- a hard stare, a constant eye contact, a soft eye contact not prolonged with my eyes finding themselves back to the open air within seconds. Each made a difference.
That persistent smile, not once, twice but thrice! Follow me- is that what I said?
He made eye contact as I moved up and down, I smiled, but then it was more than that smile, “the conversation was being given a direction”, I thought as his thumb stuck to point at himself.
Women were a different story, with their gaze so low or their blinks so fast. There were instances where they were smiling and my smile just brought an end to theirs.
That suspicion glaring as their lips tightened into a straight line.
The odd couple I smiled at, who were already red with all the flirting and intimacy stopped dead in their tracks, my smile was misinterpreted!

Shrikar Marur:It was a failed mission in my case as every time I walked past a person and tried even before I could initiate a smile, he/she would just look away, not in an attempt to avoid eye contact but a natural reaction most people tend to have.

Saumitra: Women were not even looking at me they used to either ignore me or they used to look away if i could make an eye contact. Many men thought that i know them or they know me and hence i am smiling at them

More from them here:
http://psandp.wordpress.com/course-details/blank-noise/the-smile-project/

Step By Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking:









What?
Step By Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking posters.

about:

http://blog.blanknoise.org/2008/10/step-by-step-guide-to-unapologetic.html


When? Where?
Every 2nd weekend in your city. your street.


How to?
Simple! BUT needs time and a some running around; not that much running around if tasks are delegated.

Appoint Step by Step poster event in team + Action Hero in charge ( eg. Bangalore= Naksha)
Get text translated to the local language of your place . ( eg. Vishaka Vinod + her uncle )
Get someone to write the text on the comp/ or source a printer who would be willing to do so.
Find a local printer/ CHEAP printer.
Raise funds to print. ( here's how you can also support us/ help us meet our expenses. to donate email us)
Get posters printed- appoint one person to deal with the printer/ do the running around.
Choose a specific location for the event/ map the location + interactions.
Make glue ( eg Naksha made smelly but efficient glue with maida, carried it in little packets for everyone to use).
Announce on the city specific google group/ facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=124202554296&ref=mf
Make a calendar- share it online with your city Blank Noise googlegroup so that anyone can sign up / mark dates with details such as ' date/ time/ place'
IMPORTANT-you need to give time for planning and making events happen.
Sustain it!

Preferred: if you can buy a BN step by step tee and wear it for the event!

Next one in Bangalore is 2 sundays from now. Location Vasanthnagar.
To confirm write to us at blurtblanknoise at gmail dot com

We will share the Bangalore event report as soon as it's ready. It's on its way!

Street Tales of Love/ Lust/ and possible misinterpretations:


" Excuse me?"


if you've got a story on being approached by a random stranger

if you've got a story on approaching a random stranger because you found him or her attractive
write to us.

*


if you've got a story where you experienced sexual harassment from a stranger but now feel that maybe he was trying to stalk you/ talk to you (etc) because that's the only way he could express himself/ or his interest in you...

if you've got a story where you tried to approach someone / make conversation / express interest and you feel that maybe the other person interpreted it as sexual harassment.

write to us



*

feel free to send in movie clips, songs, texts that also look at the different codes and interpretations to street sexual behaviour.

you know where to find us!
blurtblanknoise at gmail dot com

reference blog post and more links here:
http://blog.blanknoise.org/2009/07/street-sexual-harassment-could-be.html

I made a little wish in a big park:










Saraswathi:
This was one of the 'whacky',creative things to do and I enjoyed every bit of it:)

Secondly, this felt like 'self-assertive' feminism, simply trying to claim one's space and one' spersonal freedom in public places. No man-hating or blaming others.
Third, this was quite action oreinted and 'being there' . Participating in person is a differently empowering experinece altogether as compared to discussing or talking
about things (those are important too however).

I was doing much more service to myself than a social service or changing atttitudes of others. I was breaking free of my own inhibitions and questining what is 'appropriate' in public-like dancing in public without music; or what is appropriate because I am a woman-like lying on a park bench without meaning to 'get laid'.
I was changing my own attitude. I gained a little more confidance and trust within myself.
There are some things I do anyways-like pouting etc. Now I would feel less guilty or responsible if some man stares at me for it. I just like to do it and I accept myself for it!


Apurva: It seems such a simple thing for me to go to the park and sit or read or sleep out there that I never even think about and take it for granted, . It seems to be a traumatic experience for you. I do not think I can ever understand or really connect to your experience in public places. Somehow, talking about it and seeing it happen before you are different things, I guess. I feel that we need to capture these situations in more than words...

Soumya:
I distinctly remember that about 2 years ago i traveled through Cubbon park to office and craved to spend a lazy morning and afternoon just lolling about in the grass. The practical answer i would give myself was that i had to go to work... but somewhere i also knew it was because i didn't want to "invite" creeps or any "incidents". Today when I sat in the park and did nothing but watch people go by, enjoyed the feel of the grass and even dozed off for a bit, I wondered... why did i have to wait for being a part of blank noise to do this? what has changed in me for having done it?

Shreyasi:When I told my friends that so I’m spending my Saturday afternoon at a park, just lying down staring at the sky, oblivious to the people around me and listening to music, they thought that I had lost it. The most common reaction being a very sarcastic “yeah right”. Then someone said “Dude, Cubbon park isn’t really the safest place you know… there are strange creepy men so will you take care please”.

I think that was the reason why I wanted to do this. It is my space too… so why should I have to think thrice (read a zillion times) before I go there and do something that is only very normal to do in a park. Moreover, I didn’t know for sure. It was only assumed that the park, like any other public space, was going to be filled with letchy men trying to make you regret having come there in the first place. I was happy that my assumptions were wrong. Maybe so because I had my own set of guardian angels in the park who I knew were looking out for me. Maybe because I wasn’t subjected to the usual doze of comments and stares. Maybe because I was so engrossed in doing what I was, that I was oblivious to them, if they were there. But the best part was that I was relaxed enough to let myself get that oblivious!

I wore a kurta with a deep back. I wore a mask. I sat on a park bench n read. And somehow doing something as small as that felt like being free. Then soon enough it was time to challenge that... push it a little bit. I laid down on the park bench and put on the music. I allowed myself to shut my eyes. I could not allow myself to fall asleep! I think it was just the fact that no matter how comfortable I got I still was in a public space and I have learned to not trust them.


What do you wish to do this Saturday at Cubbon Park?



Remember the wish list you prepared for things you wished you could do in your city?


Here's one more!

What are the things you would love to do at the park in your city?
(build the park wish list below)




Amrutha Bushan:
* i wish i could smile whole heartedly at each and every person i saw in a park without worrying that i was inviting trouble.
* i love minimal clothing. i wish i could wear them on a daily basis;even to a park.

Dianne Sharma Winter: if i could be there I would wear a pink tutu and do handstands all across the park to the astonished cheers of my family and then someone would come along and offer me a job in the circusand i would take it

Shreyasi :I want to lay down under a tree and stare at the sky with music
blaring in my ears!! :) :D

Yasmin
:
I want to be able to take a nap in the park.

Aarthi: I want to skip the rope + read a book.

Saraswathi: I wish to whistle my favourite songs in public.

Jasmine : I am going to write a letter to a dear friend.

Natasha Hemrajani: i wish i could sit on the grass all by myself in tiny
shorts and soak up some sun and read and nap
without a care in the world without people staring
at my skin or at my lack of company and without
random men mouthing lewd songs at me because
this what they do when a woman appears
alone and vulnerable and skimpily dressed.

Bedatri: i want to get wet in the rain-from top to bottom,to the innermost strings of my garment and then walk back home without feeling guilty and i want to sit on the front seat of the auto and enjoy the breeze without twisting and turning in order to avoid those sudden brakes and what they bring along.

Lindsey Rieder :
When I lived in Jaipur I always wanted to sit on the bench in the park near my house and enjoy watching the birds and squirrels and all the kids playing.

Soumya: I just want to plonk myself comfortable PJs in whichever position and dream away

Chitra:
i wanna listen to my ipod and dance on the streets, not just bob my head and walk......

Alexandra: I am from Canada, and will be trying to erase the horrible tanline I have gotten from wearing Salwar Kameez everyday, while simultaneously entertaining my puppy whose name is Tombi.

and you?


Join us at 3 30 pm, Saturday, to do exactly what you wish to do there.
email us to confirm if you're coming!
The activities are individual based and not meant to be
co ordinated with what other Action Heroes will be doing.
There are no 'rules' except it would be fantastic if
Action Heroes wore a garment they always wished to wear
but did not because they thought they might be 'asking for it'.
The event will go on until 6 pm.
Every body is invited.
Bring along your friends, family or anyone interested.
Be an Action Hero!

Saturday Action Heroes include:

  1. Aarthi
  2. Machlee
  3. Mangit
  4. Shreyasi
  5. Hemangini
  6. Soumya
  7. Chitra
  8. Shilo
  9. Ratna
  10. Katheeja
  11. Amrutha
  12. Alexandra
  13. Saraswathi
  14. Jasmine
  15. you?
  16. sign up!! e: blurtblanknoise at gmail dot com





I WISH. I WANT. I BELIEVE



We invited bloggers to tell us their dreams and fantasies for their city. What are the top ten,
twenty, one hundred things that you wish your city just let you to do?

Many of you have emailed us. Thankyou for dreaming, wishing, sharing:

We open the wish list, right here! Do keep sending them in!


" I wish there were more women.. not just in my city but on the planet. I wish more women were not afraid (of men, of society, of being physically weaker) I wish more women would discover their potential and be themselves.

I wish to be able to walk late at night in my city and find atleast 50% of the population, at that time, to be women. "
- Soumya


I wish to...just be myself... not think about who's watching me.. if i want to just sing to my heart's content.. swing about and walk the streets.. laugh... express myself.. without anybody misconstruing anything i do or say!!!!!
Kripa Jagrajan


Complete my work for the day even if it means reaching home at 11 at night (safely, and without having to get nagged by my people of course!) That would be my dream come true.- Amrutha


i would like to walk down the street, wearing whatever i want, without being stared at, or verbally harassed, or laughed at, or scowled at, or looked at as if i were an alien.

i would like to feel safe walking alone at night.
i would like to feel safe walking alone during the day.
i wish i could hug my male friend without getting stared at.
i wish i could swim in a bikini.- anon.

I would love to grow accustomed to being myself.- anon

Well, I would love it if I could see women walking down the streets with their heads held high. Not looking at the pavement, not looking around because they're uncomfortable, jus STRAIGHT AHEAD.-Archana


I wish i could dance in the middle of where ever i was when i heard a
good song ..
i wish i could kiss my BF without having 50000 eyes peering at
me..thinking im a loose woman with no morals
i wish i would sing at the top of my voice while window shopping
i wish i could take off my pullover without worrying abt my top coming
off as well, n my stomach showing, n men ogling at me
i wish i could just scratch my breast or arm pit or whatever if it itched
i wish i could stand on MG doing nothing ..without fear that someone
would recognise me ..or think of me as a pick up
i wish i could go to a tea/pan/cigarette stall at any time of day or
night n not have only men flock around it n make me feel like im
intruding their space- Nazia Masood

I wish I could take a walk or a ride on my bike in the night (midnight even) through Chennai or or Kochi, without fear- asha menon

To go out at night without getting my parents all worried.


I dream of walking through the street, skimpily clad, with no leering glances, my hair uncombed and my manner free spirited , at any god forsaken time of the day or night, without having to think twice or ever ever considering myself the weaker sex, who is obligated to be vary of ones movements for fear of 'inviting trouble'.
i dream of just standing by the sidewalk without reason or purpose.
i dream of sleeping on the pavement, breathing the starry heavens.
i dream of lurking in the shadows of the streets.
i dream of a passing thought, while sitting cross-legged, drinking in the coolness of the concrete.- Manisha Sharma


I wish I could walk down my road, without feeling the weight of a hundred eyes on me/- Sanjana

1. i want to get wet. drenched. all of me wet with rain. and run.
2. i want to walk sideways on the pavement.
3. i want to be able to wear my silver hoops with "SEXY" on it.
4. sit under a tree and read. -Pallavi


Make a plan for the night , wear what I want to ,go where I want to , how I want to, come back when I want to and not worry about violation of any kind- Yamini

I wish I could come and go from my apartment at any hour and not have my landlords tell me that I might be mistaken for a prostitute.- Theresa Lacey



I have a dream, i dream of a Calcutta which is safe. safe so that i can roam through the streets without having to look behind with fear in my eyes. i have another dream, i dream of equality i dont want to be discriminated because i have a vagina or i belong to a different caste. i also dream of an india which can be called utopia. i want to talk to my mashi. i dont want unwanted male attention being inversely proportional to my clothes and i want to have the freedom of choice and expression without being called a "slut".

these dreams are not made up to sound great, i blog about them regularly. i love my city and everything in it ( like a true blue calcuttan) just that some things have gone wrong. it does not make my city rot but my city is not as safe as i would want it to be, i want to change that aspect keeping everything the same. a few things have gone wrong here and there, i just want to undo those changes.
- Anwesha Haldar

I want to be able to walk - slowly, calmly, deliberately, alone.
through the streets at midnight, just so I can see the moon and the stars and write my poetry, without constantly fearing for my body.
Tharunya Balan

I want to walk through the city without feeling like I'm pushed to the edges. Without having to side step for the men who don't make room for me. To feel like I own the street the same way they do.- Abigail crisman

i would like to wear a swimming costume if i go to a beach.
Nisha Chandwani

i want to wear a swimming costume (skirt/shorts......anything with my legs on display) without waxing. lets those curlywurlies show!. i really really want that. and i mean without waxing for 4 months....like right now. my legs resemble a mans. really.
yes so my wish is : to not wax, just for a bit, and yet wear everything that "requires" glossed up legs, arms, underarms...yes. i want that. And to wear a bikini on the beach. its a personal limitation strengthened by stares and glares.- Pallavi Sen


To be treated with respect,
To be considered an equal,
To have men look at me as a real person, not an "ownable" object,
To not have men undress with me their eyes,
To let go of the anger and fear I harbor toward street harassers,
To walk freely without anxiously second guessing who is following me, teasing me, or about to grab me,
To enjoy the sidewalk once again.

For men to actually look me in the eyes and not ogle my breasts, legs, butt,
For men to grow balls and develop some decency (for the love of humanity!),
For women to own their bodies and their physical space,
For women to protect and cherish their rights.- Laura Neuhas


You have those times when you just cant seem to get through the day but somehow u do. only because days brings light & life with them. the nights, however, haunt you and all you want to do is take a walk or drive around...maybe stop for a cup of coffee...i dunno bout other cities doing so, alone in Delhi, is a mortal sin.

From the time of growing up, we are dependent on parents, friends, relatives... just because we cant even think of stepping out of our houses alone at most times. sometimes, even in broad daylight. and then people wonder why are women in Delhi so 'spoilt', we aren't. Its just that we live in terror each day.

I wish i could stop being dependent on others for everything in my life. is that too much to ask...that too in the capital of our country? pallavi malhotra


To walk alone and not be accosted by strangers who've assumed that I need a lift, a conversation, a friend, a lover.

To step out on Holi and not be afraid of water balloons or chunks of ice

To not worry about getting home safe each time I go out with friends.
To not have to keep looking over my shoulder.
Annie



I wanna run wild, on the streets, on the grounds, in front of my house
not when they ask me to run on a race in the meet , nor when I jog in the park
I want to sit idle on the park bench, on the road side, on the beach, on the benches in front of the corner tea shop
I wanna stare!
I wanna hang around!
I wanna whistle in the crowd, inside, outside, in the wilderness of my loneliness
I wanna see the moon rising in the dark sky lying down on the riverbanks, not sitting on my terrace
I wanna swim, as they all do, taking off their outerwears, not caring about anyone else, no not in the pool, in the rivers, in the lakes, in the sea
I wanna drench in the rain, without an umbrella, not accidentally, but for the sake of it
I wanna day dream standing on a crowded aisle,
I wanna walk back from work on a lonely night, and have my dinner @ the
I wanna dance on the pavements,
I wanna go theatres, whatever rating the movie has
I wanna walk slow, when everyone else runs around
I wanna sing, hum, play on the streets, race my bike, catcall, hip-hop, shout, laugh,
I just wanna LIVE!
:) Suman. S


My dream for my city is to be able to walk down the street in a skirt without anyone honking or yelling out a window at me.
Annie


I would like to go for a run whenever I please in my city
I would like to share a healthy discussion about sex
I would like to feel proud of every aspect of my body
Sowmiya Ashok

I want to be relaxed and not chew my nails out every time a female friend is out late at night.- Uday Prakash


I want to be able to not treat every man/boy with suspicion.- Ratna Apnender



Hang out, loaf around, goof about, do total lukkagiri, in any corner of my city without anyone physically molesting me, verbally assaulting me, hauling me to a police chowki, questioning me or analyzing my dress sense, my loud laughter, or why I’m there at that late hour of the night.

I want to sit on the grass in any park in my city or saunter down any sea front promenade in my city and be able to stare at the trees or the sea without being stared at.

I want to be able to enjoy my city’s many spaces without being held hostage to acts of consumption – that is, I may want to buy that cup of coffee because I want to drink a cup of coffee but I don’t want to buy that coffee because that is the only way I can find a place to sit and relax for a bit.

I wish I could find a clean and available place to pee in my city – so that I can enjoy my city outdoors more without having to cross my legs all the time and be in a hurry to go home.

I want to have the right to be out in my city anytime of the day or night without fear, without retribution, without holding my pee and I want everyone else in my city – rich or poor, hawker or homosexual, old or very young, disabled or fat to have this right too.

 Sameera Khan/journalist, writer & researcher/ age 38/Mumbai


I wish i could walk down the street without worrying if any part of my body looks too "inviting"

i wish i had a zap gun to shock every person who gave me unwanted attention

i wish i had a necklace that shot a blinding light at the wandering eyes that lingered too long at my breasts

i wish i never felt bad about myself because of the way some sexually repressed man looked at me.

i wish that there were as many girls and women hanging around idly on the street as there are boys and men.

i wish there was a way to make men see how it feels to be objectified and humiliated every single day. That it is just as much of an insult as it is to be demeaned and disrespected by a corrupt employer or slumlord.

i wish that more men would join the struggle against gender-based violence.- Surabhi


i love walking. i want to be able to take a walk anytime anywhere on my own, and not have to get someone to come along with me depending on the time and place.-Vrinda

I wish I could stand at a crowded bus stop, waiting for a bus, without being made to feel by the leers of passers-by that I was out selling myself.- Tanushree Parial


I want to confidently refuse a lift from a male friend and go back by myself even though it might be late in the night...

I dont want to fret and look at my watch every time i attend a late night party.

I want to travel across this wide and diverse country with my backpack for company and not safety worries...Manjusha Vijaykumar


"If Wimbledon could do it only in 130 years, we should prove to our country that we can accomplish the same in less than half the number of years it took our erstwhile rulers"
Wimbledon has realized and equalled the prize money for both Male and Female participants shedding its 130 Yr old custom of Men being paid higher prize money than Women. What am referring to in my above statement in not in monetary terms, instead its to stress the equality that Men and Women should enjoy in this World be it in Rights, Rituals, References or as all you women dream in Roads too and at any point of time at that.
"Let us strive and succeed in making the difference" ~Vicky.

. i wish my friends would not have to be silent and pretend being 'normal' even when being 'stared' at, every time we go out, only to make sure a scuffle would not ensue. -Krishna


I would love to fly over the city, in a hot-air balloon or a parachute.- Amelie


i'd like to be able to not have to think before
wearing my tank top, or even go out without a
dupatta/chunni (i know it's done a lot but i still get
self-conscious at times!)
Even more, i'd like to be able to hang with a guy in a
bar, without people around 'knowing' that i'm sleeping
with him --- funny (how else to take it?) story here:
one of my neighbours saw me in a local bar with a
friend of mine who was visiting from NYC and
subsequently 'warned' my husband - in a joking manner
- whether he thought it was wise to work such long
hours ... I walked around feeling a little like i was
carrying a big red A on my chest ... but then have
gotten over it & even been spied doing the same thing
:) Atiya Hussain


i second that. i was in madya pradesh last week
shooting a documentary with a japanese american
friend of mine and everywhere we went, the men -
not the women - would ask me in hushed hindi
with a snigger if i was his 'escourt' heavy subtext
and wink nudge - or what our relationship was to
each other, straight off - sickening really that there is
no concept of manners in little india - how is it any
business of theirs to dare ask me personal questions
and also how extremely pathetically narrowminded
to think there can only be one relationship between
an indian woman and a foreign national travellling
together.

so yes. i'd like to be able to travel any number of men
of various nationalities without being given the 'look'
Natasha Hemrajani


I wish I could walk down any street whenever I want, day or night-Prasheila

I wish I could sit on the beach all night and listen to the music the waves make ..- Uma


"i wish Bangalore got a woman's touch as opposed to masculine
monstrosities in terms of architecture, public spaces, etc. "

"i wish all the women i knew can return home late in the night without me worrying about it."
Kunal Ashok


I wish I could just walk out onto the street without having my "game-face" on! - Aviva Dharmaraj


1.i want to DANCE! in public
2.i want to able to sing aloud (ive done it once with this delightful girl) in a BEST!
3.make a dancing chain(hands on shoulders of person in front) and walk down haji ali! dance down.
4.make two nipples on the nipple area of tshirt. this is cos i was made to "delete" the word from an article i once wrote for the malhar mag. it was about BNP. "pert n*****s are not a sign of promiscuity" - Pallavi Sen



i wish i could stretch. i long lumbering warm fuzzy full bodied stretch. like a cat. without thinking about how im looking and am being looked at.

i want to grab my boy and hug him and kiss him cos i love him but im a bit afraid to. in public. they might haul me up for inappropriate behavior. (anon)

'walk around without a bra!'- sangita shirali

Love the roads at night, always hold myself back in the middle of the night…I wish I can just let go.- Shweta Baxi Tyagi

Would love to walk on the streets in peace without being rubbed and fingered or stared at by men. maya

I want to be able to walk down the street naked. I want everyone else to be naked too. Stark naked. There will be no room for an issue.
- anon

I wish Gandhiji's dream of a truely free india becomes a reality -
when a lady wearing all her jewels is able to return home safely all
alone in the middle of the night!~Anand

I wish there were women as nightwatchwomen. Not because watch men are unsafe, but because we have no concept of a nightwatch woman?! Imagine
saying “ watch woman!!”- Jasmeen


There are so many things that I CAN'T do - at least not without a deep sense of unease - purely by virtue of being a woman...
I wish I could wear tank tops and skirts while travelling by public transport on those scorching summer days.
I wish I could walk into a bar alone and nurse my drink, occasionally eating some peanuts, without attracting curious stares, without looking "available."
I wish I could buy condoms without a second thought.
I wish I could travel the country without filling my bags with salwar kameezes and dupattas.
I wish I cared less about my body, about whether or not I looked "fat" or "cheap."
I wish I could go to the gynaecologist without the mortal fear of being "lectured" for being sexually active and yet unmarried.
It goes on and on and on...Aurina


I could walk alone at night with just the moonlight and no fear.
Be a part of a concert and not worry whose hand is where..just enjoy the pure thrill of being there. Tejal


1. I want my husband, father or brother to never ever feel the constant need to protect me.
2. I want to never ever desperately wish I had a male escort while walking on a deserted road after dark.
3. I want no parents to feel the rage, anger and guilt that my parents feel when I encounter abuse on the street.
4. I want pepper sprays to be a thing of the past. -Preeti Raju


i wish .....in my city gorakhpur all person speak up..! on women violence and discrimination....(chuppi toro)- manish

I would like to see my city as police station free city.( i mean no necessity of tht)- Sudheer


what i really want is to walk in this city, at any time of the day be it morning, noon or night without

a)anyone slowing down their car and presuming that if a girl is walking then she HAS to be fair game

b) school boys thinking that whistling at a woman and singing songs is a rite of passage which they cannot do without

c) i want to walk without looking over my shoulder all the time. Delhi is a beautiful city and just for once I want to walk, taking in the surroundings, admire the trees, the buildings and the chirping of the birds without wondering if the man behind me is actually the creep at the previous bus stop who was staring at me.- Nikita

1. Be able to take a nice book out to Cubbon Park by myself, sit on a bench, and read in peace.
2. Be able to ride a bicycle to work without feeling like I'm on a suicide mission- Debbie Gross

i want to wear a lakhnawi dress without a slip underneath.
i dont want to be looked over when i wear tight tops.
i want to wear short skirts, dresses no matter my figure.
i want to shop on crowded streets without worrying about groping.
i dont want to think twice before going out on the eve of holi.
i want to hang around a disco/pub without looking 'available'
i want to m
ove about any way i want, without adjusting my top/jeans. i dont want to worry abt my cleavage showing. -varsha chandwani

. I want to go to a concert and the market place without
worrying about being groped
I want to be able to tell a new male acquaintance that
I live alone with female roommates without worrying
about compromising my safety
I want to get wet in the rain without worrying about
my nipples showing
I want to work out and play squash in a white t-shirt
without being stared at once the sweat makes it
transparent.
Sowmya rajaram


I wish to walk around once without being virtually raped.
I wish to feel free even while I am walking through the crowds.
I wish to work in a non-gender-biased environment in my city.
I wish to proclaim loudly that I am equally Mentally Strong and Technically Updated like my Male colleagues.
I wish to feel the open night breeze run through my hair on the city roads in my city.
I wish to walk through the crowd without the fear of being touched... in my city.
I wish to taste that dish served by that food stall guy in those secret alley's in my city.
I want freedom to Eat, Drink and Wander around in public without any Fear in my City. -SVETA TARE


I would love to go jogging at the beach or along carters without being conscious of the fact that "too much of me" is moving ....

I would love to wear my white shirts more often without thinking twice before wearing them.. in the fear of everything being transparent at the end of the day....i hate carryin those files just to cover my bust..

I would love to feel secure and comfortable past 8,the next time i am waiting for a friend on the road...

I wish i could still wear my short tops without having to stretch them till they completely cover my tummy..

................................so many things to say....most of them seem to be the "wrong thing" to do....

PS i hate it when anybody say" are you sure you want to wear that?"....i am always sure.. - Shreya Pilgaonkar


I could sit on the promenade, reading, without the searching stares, without the raised eyebrows or the none-too-discreet gestures.
I could leave the house in my tracks and ganjee, without worrying about whether or not I will be whistled at or groped.
I could sit in an auto without holding my bag tight against my chest.
I could walk without the insistent honking of a car drowning out my music.
I could run without first checking that I have on the most supportive bra ever known to womankind.
I could stand, sometimes, for no other reason than the fact that I want to.
I could eat pani-puri on the streets, just by myself, without always having to wait for someone to come along.
I could take an auto at night through the smaller lanes, so I get home earlier, instead of having to go all the way around.

I WISH....
that within the walls and spaces, within the streets and the alleys, within the chaos and the sudden startling serenity, within the madness of urbanity, within its rare silence, I could be me. Just myself in my city.- Chinmayee manjunath


1. Go out late at night to watch stars, go for a drink, come back from a friend’s house …
2. Ride my bicycle through whatever territory I want at whatever time of the day or night
3. Feel safe in a taxi by myself
4. Wear short skirts when it’s very hot without being stared at
5. Not wear my sunglasses at day time to stop people thinking I look at them ‘provocatively’
6. Eating ice cream without feeling obscene
7. Kissing my boyfriend in public when I feel like it
8. Riding a rickshaw without hearing kissing noises from guys on the side of the street
9. Lying in the park reading a book without someone coming up to me and asking me ‘which country’ and liberally continuing onto more private issues effectively spoiling my day
10. Being alone in an open space/landscape without feeling unsafe


My wish is very small!! I often stay awake late and in between my work, I st and in my balcony and watch the quiet, deserted, and beautiful road in front my house. Once in a while I find a man walking with his hands in his pockets, or with a cigarette in his hand, softly whistling or lost in thoughts walking along. I want to walk all alone, past midnight on the lonely streets of my city, enjoying its beauty without its crowds, without its noise. Just go for a long walk all alone without the fear of violence!! I REALLY DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH OF IT IS THE INSTILLED AND INTERNALIZED FEAR WITHIN ME AND HOW REALLY THREATENING ARE THE ROADS IN THE NIGHT. I HAVE NEVER WALKED THE ROADS ALONE PAST MIDNIGHT!! - SHARADA

I want to not worry about my legs being unwaxed and wear a skirt, without being gawked at by men and women alike.
I want to smile at a man without being afraid of him harassing me.
I want to smile at people without them thinking I am a lunatic.
I want to live.
I want to be me.
I want to wear a burkha and sit in a theatre.
I want to go for a movie on my own.
I want to sing while I walk without being thought of as inviting.
I want to not worry about my bra strap showing.
I want to not have to wear a bra.
I want to be able to sit in a park alone and not be harassed.

-Suparna

I want to play and run along with my son on the
roads in my colony and also playgrounds.He wants it. I
enjoy it.- Madhuri Kalpa

1. i wish there were no such terms as 'skimpy' or 'revealing' when it comes to clothes...clothes are just clothes
2. i wish i could wear whateeever i wanted to wherever..be it office..or when im going by bus, auto..anything!
3. and i wish i could go for late night cycle rides anywehere...not just in the universty of hyderabad!
3. i also wish there was no friggin dress code in offices/colleges
4. and i most certainly wish bangalore city becomes less crowded and less polluted and LESS expensive!!!
5, n that people got married only when they felt like it...with no pressure of time or age or body clock or any of the crap!
6. and that my wokr timings got better so that i could have sent this list two days ago >:|
Chitra Badrinarayan

  1. I want to go out with boys and not hear my mother's voice in my head warning me to "not let them try anything!".
  2. I want to laugh out loud in the street and not have people throw me disapproving looks.
  3. I want to be able to hug friends without worrying about what they're thinking.-Tharunya Balan
I wish I could kiss my man deep and long, without having to pull away because someone's staring.

I wish I could book a room for two without being looked at oddly.

I wish it wasn't necessary to always travel in groups to be 'safe'.

I wish I could travel without worrying about what to wear and who will say what.

I wish I could walk around in a loose and comfortable bra.

I wish I could wear transparent clothes without a slip in the scorching summer heat.

I wish I could walk out of the house before sunrise without a worry in my head.

I wish I could stand at chowpatty, look out at the sea and sing my heart out.

I wish I could wear tight, short, dressy stuff in the local and not be stared at.

I wish that I could walk along the shore at Marine Drive late every night, alone, without anything but the moonlight, and anyone but my shadow.-Riya

I wish smiles were innocuous. I wish I didn't have to analyze whether a man's smile was friendly, or not. I want to smile back without an implied invitation.- Sujata Bhat

1. I want to sit with a friend without being termed anything demeaning...at any hour of the day!
2. I want to get back from work and be able to go for a walk
3. I want to wear 'airy' tops in sweltering Delhi heat
4. I want to sit without wondering if people, sitting behind me, are gawking
5. I want to take the right of men (in my life & otherwise) to tell me what to do/ wear “for my own good”
6. I wish people wouldn’t press themselves on me in public transport…even when I am clad in a suit!
I wish I had the freedom to be on my own & just be myself…
-Pallavi Malhotra, 23, Delhi


You have those times when you just cant seem to get through the day but somehow u do. only because days brings light & life with them. the nights, however, haunt you and all you want to do is take a walk or drive around...maybe stop for a cup of coffee...i dunno bout other cities doing so, alone in Delhi, is a mortal sin.

From the time of growing up, we are dependent on parents, friends, relatives... just because we cant even think of stepping out of our houses alone at most times. sometimes, even in broad daylight. and then people wonder why are women in Delhi so 'spoilt', we aren't. Its just that we live in terror each day.

I wish i could stop being dependent on others for everything in my life. is that too much to ask...that too in the capital of our country?

I wish I could wake up and walk out to get my paper without stressing about the "right clothing"
I wish I could walk on the road at night with out looking back.
I wish I could ask for contraception at a pharmacy- irrespective of the gender of the salesperson
I wish I could walk to the swimming pool from the dressing room in my swim suit ONLY
I wish I didnt always have to wear a bra
I wish I didnt have to glare back at random men on the road as much as I have to
I wish I could buy wine without getting odd looks
I wish I could take myself out for a drink alone at a bar and not look available
I wish I could stand anywhere on the road for however long- without feeling the need to change positions or look down
I wish I could just walk. Whenever, whereever, however.- anon

  • that i could wear high heels and feel sexy - and not have to worry about whether i'll be able to run away in time

  • that my city did not view me as just a body, i wish i could get rid of the feeling that to be a woman is to be a body, i wish i could forget my body

  • i wish i could sing out loud the songs stuck in my head - and not have passing men think i am singing the songs because i am attracted to them

  • i wish i could own a bright bright bright neon red car, drive alone at midnight, turn up its stereo to the max, make it wheels screech on the tar - and no one bats an eyelid when they realise the driver is a girl

  • i wish it was possible for me to bend down to pick up things that happen to drop - and not have to think twice about it.

  • i wish i could let myself fall asleep on the bus after a tiring day - and not have to worry about whose groping hands will wake me up

  • i wish for the day to come when i feel empowered enough to bargain with auto wallahs after dark, i wish i could spend that extra money on icecream- PRIYANKA