Do you remember a place where you felt unsafe? What is the memory attached to this place?

Go to this place, and take a photo of it. What does this place remind you of? This is an archive of memories attached to certain places where you’ve felt unsafe, scared, or uncomfortable.

Email a photo of the place along with the memory attached to it, send it to actionshero@blanknoise.org

When I recall my experiences of sexual harassment, one of the most frustrating ones inevitably comes to mind. I was just a preteen at the time, running errands with my mother. As we were walking down a pavement next to a very open, familiar, and populated street close to home, I suddenly froze when I felt a hand grope me, only to see it belonging to one of two men on a bike who swiftly rode away.

In a state of shock and confusion, I immediately muttered to my mother (who was wondering why I stood frozen) about what had just happened. Fuelled with anger, she unabashedly yelled at the two men, but what I vividly remember is the smirk of the pillion rider who was looking back at me. 

To this very day, I am agonized by the fact that I did not have the presence of mind to check for their license plate number, or yell, or do something. I felt numb, powerless, violated, but mostly, furious. 

At present, that particular area on the pavement is not triggering, but it does make me slightly more cautious; I now walk closer to the wall of the pavement than the road. Regardless, I would love nothing more than to reclaim my lost power, because I believe it will allow me to move from the helpless feeling of frustration, towards liberation and ownership of a public space that is rightfully mine to be free and respected in. 

This is a place where my friends and I used to go to have pani-puri frequently, but after the incident I stopped going out with them there. I wanted to but I couldn’t get myself to do it out of the fear of seeing that man again.

I took up this project because it motivates me to get past that fear and become more confident. I went to that place again, twice by now, and just after the first visit I felt way better. If I see that man again I’ll have the courage to look him straight in the eye and not be scared of him.

My memories attached to this place is so clear only because I had to pass this street every day after that incident and every time I crossed this street I caught myself breathe a sigh of relief. It’s been at least 3 - 4 years now, I used to take the bus to get back home from my college.

One day at around 2 or 3 pm, I got off the main bus depot and was walking back home. This guy, about my age, walked up to me and asked for directions. He had purposely asked me for directions for a place that I was walking towards. He asked if he could walk with me but I was hesitant and didn’t reply.

He walked along anyway. I was scared and there was nobody walking on that street.

On that day I held my phone and a napkin with me. He saw this napkin I had in my hand and snatched ut from me and started sniffing it. I asked him to return it and he said he wouldn’t. I pulled it back from him and tried walking faster but he kept up…

He looked across the street, there was another guy signalling him something. He tried holding my hand and I pushed him and walked faster. Luckily, I had reached the end of that street, He was still following me so I decided not to go home. I went another way, saw a cop at the signal and tried communicating with him. This guy noticed that and walked away.

I did not complain about this to the cop, I just asked him for directions to places I already knew. Once I was sure he was nowhere around, I walked back home and threw the napkin on the street. To this day, I’m aftrad of this place. I replay it in my head every time I pass it.

After my college days I never walked around this place. I assumed I had forgotten this incident and that I was mentally prepared to go through with it again until the day I actually decided to go there just to take this picture. I begged my brother to accompany me because I didn’t want to be there alone.

I think this is a start and one of the ways to overcome such fears.

I would rather pay 20 rupees more for the auto, than take that road while going back home. 

I would rather walk 600m more to reach home, than take that road when I’m walking home.

Even during the day, I would rather drive my car on the main road than drive on that road

I don’t know how I feel about the place. I know that I don’t feel good, there’s a very familiar feeling that I felt when I was walking down another road. There’s a temple at the corner of this road. It reminds me of the time I watched 2 men on a fast moving bike grope a girl right outside the temple. Maybe this is why I never want to walk down that road.

It was a normal day of my college life. Like every day, I attended the classes and was getting down the lift to go home. I forgot my purse in my class, so I had to get into an empty lift as my classroom was on the 8th floor. On the 2nd floor a group of boys got in. It was all normal, then they started giggling and suddenly pushed one of the guys upon me.

I froze and was speechless. He touched my breast in a way I felt disgusted. He then got away and said sorry smiling at me. It was as if he was not sorry for what he had done and how I felt. They then got out on the 7th floor and were walking out smiling and laughing as if they didn't care about my presence. I just stayed there frozen, my lips sealed. I wanted to cry out loud and fight against them, but I stayed there frozen and scared.

I went to my class, took my purse and rushed back home as fast as possible. I went home, locked my doors and sat down and cried out loud because that's all I can do. I didn't share this with anyone because I didn't want anyone to get scared and worry. This happened a year ago and since then I never got into an empty lift or a lift with men.

I struggled with the trauma caused by the incident for many months. I can't skip this place as I have to go to class every day. I gradually forgot what happened here but never forgot the feeling that stayed with me.

While taking this picture, I didn't get the courage to go to that place remembering the incident was hard. It still scares me out and I feel so helpless and weak. I have always hated it when people touched me, but this stranger touched me, groped me and left with an unapologetic sorry. But after taking this picture, I compared the old me to the present me. The old me was scared and weak, but the present me is empowered and brave and courageous enough to fight anything.

That place and the memory associated with it doesn't scare me anymore, but the feeling of disgust and that feeling of his hands on my breast stayed with me as a scar that I fight to erase. 

I usually take my dog for a walk in the evening or night but since my parents were out of station, I had to take my dog in the morning for a walk. On the walk, that morning, in the bright daylight when I came to this road, I saw a cycle and on it was a man. From far, I didn't see this as anything suspicious but as I came closer, I saw a sight I cannot forget. The man had his pants zipped open and was masturbating on the road.

No one was around. I quickly jolted away from that place. To this day, I do not walk my dog on that road. As I take this picture and write this note, I feel like I am taking my power back. I feel braver, I feel like the next time this happens, I'll take a picture or do something. I'll not silence myself into accepting the world works this way.

The place where I was harrassed was the ‘Green Trends Beauty Salon’ at Sarjapur Road, which is a couple of minutes away from my house.I feel more in control of myself in regards to the entire event after I took this picture.

The reason for doing this is so that I can acknowledge my past, stop blaming myself and grow through the experience without any mention of self blame or self hate. To finally be able to do something like taking a step forward in a positive direction for myself makes me feel a tad bit better about myself.

I'm glad that I finally gathered up the courage to do this. We were gold about this task about a week back and I knew I wanted to take this step from the first day itself. But, throughout the week I ignored that voice in my head that said that I have to take a picture. I wonder why I made those excuses that there was time or that I was currently busy? Was I scared of reliving the entire thing or was I scared of myself?

I took home time before writing this - I feel strangely weird. Like I wish I could meet the guy and tell him that I did it. I feel content with myself. For the first time in a while.

Even though I'm upset that I wasn't courageous enough to enter the salon entirely, I know I will be able to someday.

About a year and a half ago, I was coming home from a friend’s apartment and this time I wasn’t driving ourselves. it took me about 5 and a half minutes to decide which route would be the safest. There were 2 routes to choose from. I thought for a while and chose the one which wasn’t isolated and only went through main roads. I made a decision but soon came to regret it. we had to cross that one bridge. Isolated, dark, unsafe. I remember my sister and I crossed our fingers tight and pretended to call dad. “hey dad! We are near the temple. We should be home in less than 5 minutes” it comforted us. It felt safe knowing that the auto driver could not do anything this close to home. It wasn’t anything about that particular auto driver, it was just that it was dark and late, and we were the only people on that road.

Mom and dad have been doing this from as far back as I can remember. It never felt different, wrong, or bizarre. It felt like it was the right thing to do because we did it from the beginning. It was drilled into our behaviour, response, and everything we did. no one had to tell me how to be safe because I was taught from the time I could understand. It is so clear in my head, it comes naturally.

Back to that bridge - dark, lonely, and the smell of an open gutter. I have avoided that bridge for as long as I can remember. I think the fear of that bridge is greater than any experience I may have had on it. And as absurd as it sounds, it doesn’t look as scary in the day, just as soon as the sun goes down.

I want to cross that bridge. And once it is safe for me to venture out into the world again, I will cross it.