Being 8

Diary dated 1987
The writer was then 8 and a half years of age.
(she would like to be anon)

TALK TO THE STATE :

There's some new news that requires you to take immediate thought and action:

A group of NGO's in Bangalore have gotten together to draft a people's manifesto for the city in context to the BBMP elections, addressing various issues like Health,
Transport, Environment, Rights of Transgenders, Public Education etc. The idea behind this manifesto is to create a debate around these issues
amongst people in the 198 wards of the city and to get political parties to take a stand on issues and demands raised by civil society and include
these issues in their own manifesto's.

If you were to ask the state for change / in context to street sexual violence and molestation what would you ask for ?

It could be big, it could be small, think of the state as YOURS and contribute to the people's manifesto. What do you want?

Add to the list in the comments section below or email us-blurtblanknoise at gmail dot com
subject titled " I WANT " (You can send in more than 1 want). Your email will be published on the blog. An edited document based on your response will form the people's manifesto.

You can also contribute by taking this idea outside of the internet- having a conversation or 2 with your neighbours about the same. Please do hurry with sending us your response- we're a little late in putting this message out! (sorry).

TALK TO THE STATE:

Ratna Apnender- I WANT- section 354, IPC to be publicized.

Jasmeen Patheja- I WANT- streets to be lit at night. lit streets make me feel safer. I want a pavement. The streets are for walking. I want a city I can walk in.

Zainab Bawa-I WANT- better street lighting to get over, to some extent, the perception of unsafe-ness that we can feel at night? Can we also ask for improved public transport for lesser mortals like us who don't drive, specifically more buses that ply longer routes than simply point A to majestic/Market/shivajinagar?

Rushitha Samaveda-I WANT-STREET LIGHTS IN PROPER WORKING CONDITIONS IN EACH AND EVERY STREET. Though I am not from Bangalore, I suggest the need of street lights in proper working conditions in each and every street. Though most of our streets have street lamps,do they function?With proper lights, a girl can work more confidently and be alert even if something happens and shot for help.

Paramita Dutta- I WANT- the state to make self defense or martial arts compulsory in all schools and especially in girls' schools as knowing how to defend oneself gives one great confidence and helps one protect oneself from street violence and molestation.

Uma Chandru- I WANT- safer side walks with ramps and special buses/vans for disabled people to get from place to place and ask them to stop evicting the poor children from increasingly gentrified public parks?

Jasmeen Patheja- I DON'T WANT- the state to 'CLEANSE' public parks by removing couples from there.

Rhea Daniel- I WANT-Since most if the street sexual harassment I experienced was as a school kid at a time when I was most vulnerable to it, I WANT compulsory education in schools that teach young girls their rights, improve their self-esteem and also tell them the best way to deal with common means of sexual harassment. Also educate parents not to ignore this problem and talk to their kids about it, and if something happens to them then LISTEN. I WANT other adults to step in when they see a little kid being harassed who doesn't know the difference and not just shake their heads and say --it happens.

Anonymous- I WANT- regarding ashutosh, I want more women officers everywhere! If we can't get more women officers, then get trained, uncorrupted, decent ppl(possibly from Blank noise) who will protect us. I want more women everywhere!! more female bus drivers, more female cab drivers, more female everywhere.. there are simply too many men out there.. we need to show these indecent men how to treat a women! Why do the women only need to be cleaning, why can't they be cab/bus drivers, more female cops.. n so forth.
sidewalks/pavement everywhere, even in private areas where there are only homes..i hate the pavements in blore, they are so hard to walk on.. why can't they just be simple enough for pedestrians to walk??
I want workshops where women are taught about their rights and how to defend themselves..
I want workshops in poor areas, where women are usually abused, they should learn to defend themselves & know their rights as a wife, mother, daughter or aunt or whatever. So they can teach their daughter how to defend themselves & teach their sons how to respect women.
I want the state to give harsher punishments to pedophiles, rapists, sexual assaulters. They should go through a course in jail about women, how they need to be respected and not be treated like a piece of shit!

Dianne Sharma Winter -I WANT- Decent lighting on the streets and suburbs so that women feel safe to walk. I want separate transport for women during rush hour.

I want women police officers who are trained in dealing with complaints of a sexual nature on every corner.I want male police officers to also receive training on how to deal with complaints of sexual abuse.

Chitra Badrinarayan -I WANT- Compulsory education in schools and homes on the right way to treat/talk to/behave with girls/women.

Jasmeen Patheja- I DON'T WANT- separate transport for women because in the long run it only furthers the divide. IT IS NOT A SOLUTION. I admit it makes me feel safer in an immediate sense but I don't want separate transport for women. Instead I WANT the public transport system to communicate that street sexual harassment is a serious offence according to section 354 IPC. I want more women bus conductors, women bus drivers. I WANT the state public transport system to communicate that it will support women who experience harassment regardless of who they are (sex workers or an 80 year old), what they are wearing or where they are. I want the state to take responsibility through communication and not segregation. Blank Noise would like to work on communication with the state.

Hemangini Gupta- I do not want prostitution banned/ more CCTV cameras.
I WANT a follow-up of the request that we made to the DGP during the Fearless Karnataka/Nirbhaya Karnataka protests which was to make police stations less hostile to women who were attempting to file FIRs, especially when these were related to sexual assaults. We had asked for a posting of a memo on all police stations across the state to serve as a constant reminder to police officers that their role was to provide women with accurate information about the process of filing an FIR and to provide them with all assistance, rather than to discourage them or further intimidate them. The context might have changed but I think that the points are still relevant:

17.04.09

Circular

Sub: Violence Against Women

Post the Mangalore pub incident on 24.01.09, when women were attacked, there have been the increasing cases of attacks against women in public spaces. These attacks are crimes against women. They are legal offences. They are neither isolated events nor trivial incidents of ‘eve-teasing’. They are part of a series of attacks inflicted on women in the name of ‘morality’ and religious intolerance, attacks that are escalating as women resist and fight back. Women have been targeted for what they have been wearing, the fact that they were on the road late at night or that they should not have been in a particular location. The motivation behind the attacks is to compel women to subscribe to a narrow definition of culture and modesty. Moral and cultural policing of this nature is undertaken to restrict the freedom of women to live full and meaningful lives.

What has come to our notice is that often when these attacks happen and some women go to the police station to register FIR's police are reluctant and dicourage the victims from filing FIR's. In some cases NCR's are registered under the guise of it being an FIR. When women do come to police stations, they are often subjected to questioning which can be personal, invasive, demeaning and disprepectful under the guise of obtaining information relevant to the filing of the FIR.

In the above outlined context your police officers are required to :

1. Treat the issue of violence against women as a serious human right issue and do not dismiss it as a case of 'mere eve teasing' or an issue which does not merit the attention of the police.

2. Recognize the fact that it is not easy for a woman to come to the police station to file an FIR and provide her all possible support to ensure that the FIR is filed.

3. Register an FIR under the relevant sections such as Sec 354, 504, 506 and 323, 324, among others.

4. Understand that if the victim is unable to describe the perpetrator or give details of the attack it could be becuase of shock or fear and not immediately jump to the conclusion that the complaint is concocted.

5. Do not make the victim feel responsible for the violence she has undergone by asking her personal demeaning questions pertaining to her dress, her friends or what she was doing on the street.

Chaitanya Krishnan- I WANT fast track courts to be "fast track".
I WANT auto drivers to remove the stupid mirrors they put inside their autos, so they can stare at the passengers.
I WANT police stations to register cases and take complaints regardless of jurisdictional boundaries.
I WANT policemen to be accomodating to people who do not speak the local language.

Aparajita Sharma -I want- a more responsive approach from the state legal department to punish people who commit such atrocities on innocent people.

1) This includes a non-bailable arrest warrant for people who take the law on to their hands, all in the name of "Bharatiya Sanskar". This is total hypocrisy because Indian customs and way of life is to respect Women, first and foremost and not raise one's hand on them.

2) Stricter enforcement on part of the State Police, as they turn a blind eye to these acts of violence, fearing political wrath or some similar ridiculous notions in executing their duties. No one is above the Law. In this country we have High ranking judges and ministers arrested for corruption and mis-demeanor. What gives the political party members and the deranged youths to behave the way they do and get away scot-free because of their affiliation to some corrupted nut who thinks he is God to the State.

3) Social awareness amongst the people to realise that what is socially acceptable behaviour and decorum in public places, which all fall under the ambit of the legal machinery of our country.

4) Bangalore is an international destination and called the Silicon Valley of India. It is party to international businessmen and tourists. This image that it has created of late for itself sends out very wrong signals for business and What India stands for a hospitable country, which not only respects women but also upholds the dignity of the citizen of India. Public flogging if possible for people who commit these acts of violence and harassment, and full coverage by the Press should create the awareness that what they did was wrong as well as this kind of negative publicity will make each offender think twice or (hopefully) never again to do what they think is fun and a kick to their machochism or so called 'mardangi'.

5) Discounted training classes for women to learn

Avni Patel - I WANT- Severe Punishment for the eve-teasers.. Just a mere fine of 1000 bucks is not enough to stop these losers from eve-teasing.. A serious punishment is necessary to teach them a lesson and to scare them from doing anything of that sort again!

Hasina Hasan I WANT-

1) There is not adequate lighting at night on church St, Rest House Road etc etc. Some street lamps are on and some aren't. Low maintenance of this basic facility of street lighting has allowed for many trangressions to occur viz. eve teasing to me personally as well as men beating up women in cars parked on these dark spots. Needless to say even the patrolling cops wont be able to notice such acts due to the bad lighting. The poorly lit areas allow for such misdemeanors and hinder even the police from being able to do their job of securing the city well.

I WANT proper lighting at night on every street in my city.

2) Not all of us can afford private vehicles due to budget restraints. I have no budget restraints but choose to travel by public transport. My aim is to reduce pollution and traffic by travelling via public local buses and carpooling.

But there is list at bus stands that tells us the bus numbers that frequent the particular stand. There is no clarity and that allows for buses to come late or not turn up and we are forced to either goto main bus stands and start from scratch or catch autos (out of budget for some) or stand waiting for buses that are hours late. It is unfair to us who leave home an hour early to reach our destinations on time. When we can respect others time then the govt. should too and they hopefully will not allow for such laxity on Buses/drivers/etc by clearly listing maps/routes/times/bus numbers - all of that or a combination of that at every bus stand.

I WANT the public transport authorities to facilitate us with proper public transport.

3) Streets and parks are lit up at night but run on electricity. Of late some parks' nameboards have been replaced with lighted boards. While that is a brilliant idea and in keeping with the times, does all that run on electricity? Could we not aim for lighting that runs on solar power/alternate energy for park name boards? While this is a shot in the dark and is definitely something long term. It most definitely in the long run will lead to energy conservation from everysense viz solar powered energy will eventually lead to reduced costs, save energy etc.

I WANT solar powered energy saving technology to be used for Street lights and Park name boards etc.

YAMINI DEEN-I WANT-
1) I want early awareness workshops in schools encouraging frank , open discussions among kids, thier parents and teachers about sexual harassment.
2) I want real consequences for violating IPC 354
3) I want the police to be accountable for crimes against women who have to or want to stay out at night instead of saying ''Madam go home '' or ''Madam, walking at night not allowed''.

DHRUVA GHOSH- I WANT-
Decreased censorship.

Repression almost always has unhealthy ways of getting back at the society. Street sexual harassment is one such.

On being asked if Bangalore is safe or unsafe

Is Bangalore safe or unsafe? If Bangalore is not safe then is it our responsibility, or that of the state or corporation to make Bangalore safe? Is Bangalore particularly unsafe for a certain type of woman or is it a certain type of woman that is speaking of feeling unsafe? Moreover what makes it unsafe? I refuse to declare “Bangalore safe” or to declare “Bangalore unsafe” because I am weary of the repercussions of both statements.

I was walking in my neighbourhood and I heard a hissing sound directed at me, followed by a “ baap re”- the usual provocation that we tend to ignore. It came from a security guard. I looked at him and continued to make eye contact until I left the location. He had been spotted, identified, confronted - but not in a manner that would make me feel safer if I walked there the next time.

Following the incident I made it a point to go over to the dhobi couple who iron clothes right opposite the security guard's building and have a friendly chat with them or to simply smile at them each time I passed by. This friendly exchange established me as a member of the locality. I find it comforting. It’s not always strategic; smiling in public can be fun.

Recently, I have been trying to speak in Kannada when I take autos. I have discussed auto unions, traffic jams and my Kannada speaking efforts with the drivers. In this process something has shifted between the potential aggressor and me. I feel less defensive.

Publish Post

The examples above should not be misinterpreted as urging that “women should do something to make themselves feel safer”. Women always have done things to feel safer. It is unfortunately fear-based and gets manifested in the following ways- carrying silly pepper sprays, blade, nail cutter, safety pins. Many women don’t even step out alone-always in groups, with a male member of the family, or chauffer driven. We fear, we don’t engage, we make the public space more alien; we make ourselves even more vulnerable.

The state recognises this vulnerability and seeks to counter it: for instance, acknowledging sexual violence in public transport, the Bangalore transport corporation has a pink bus- women’s only. It might work on an immediate level but does not really address the issue and serves to further segregate society.

Corporations have also been spurred to action. Following the murder and rape of a BPO employee- Pratibha Murthy (2005), HR officials announced special measures for dropping women home; women were made to feel safer by once again adopting methods that situate them as vulnerable rather than by empowering them.

A part of me is relieved when I hear about ‘reported’ assaults on women, so much in the news recently, here in Karnataka. It demonstrates that finally some women are speaking up, being heard, filing FIRs, and talking to media. The issue becomes ‘urgent’ and important instead of being ‘normal, expected and accepted’. We are no longer dismissing it as ’teasing’.
But alarmingly, the reports introduced a new kind of sexual violence that included women’s clothes being torn off, and brute violence. As a result, a climate of fear developed. For example, I was out for dinner the evening I heard about an assault in the neighbourhood. A gang of men had attacked the individual, punching and tearing off her clothes. Instead of taking an auto back at 10 30 pm, that night I took a taxi (but then, I have that luxury of choice). This was followed by more assaults all within a span of 2 weeks. All reported cases were attacks on a particular type of woman- English-speaking, jeans-wearing, seemingly independent and confident. As a result I had several well wishers cautioning me to dress conservatively- that is in traditional Indian clothes. I found myself hyper alert even during a casual evening walk. On some evenings I had to force myself to walk out in the evening; cell phone in hand. I was equipped. I felt nervous, brave… and exhausted.

In the past I have taken auto rickshaws at 6 am, 11 pm and 1 am. I have been in buses at all hours too. I did that with a sense of adventure and have reached my destination- safe. When the assaults were reported in the city, I found myself feeling like I was taking a risk by hiring public transport at 8 pm.

Being away from the city for a month and returning to no ‘fresh news’ about sexual harassment made me feel calmer. This not to say that there were none. Perhaps they just weren’t reported. Perhaps they happened to women who won’t know how to file an FIR or perhaps never see the point in talking about it. The reasons are infinite. Do we hear stories from middle aged women experiencing sexual violence? Women who live on the streets? Sex workers? These are just some of the provocative questions that recent violence has thrown up. Most importantly, I find myself asking: should we as women continue to deny ourselves the city because it has been declared unsafe? Can we look at current violence as a warning to address male attitudes?

The piece was first published in Elle Magazine. September 2009 issue.

Step By Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking tees are ready!

Blank Noise supports the Pride by walking wearing 'step by step guide to unapologetic walking' tee shirts.

These tee shirts can be worn anywhere anytime, they have The Step by Step Guide To Unapologetic Walking on them.


A big thank you to Anwesha , Nimi, Chitra, Soumya, Mohnish, Siddarth, Sanhita, Shreyasi, Paige, Hemangini, Jasmeen, Aarthi, Noopur, Saptarshi, Sunayana, John, Rashida, Neha, Natasha,Rashmi, Vishaka, Shravanthi, Pranav, Lalitha, Kirtana, Aarti, Payal, Nabila, Aparna, Shivangini, Ragini, Tinnie, Saraswathi, Smriti, Oindrilla for being the first to wear them on!

(A fresh new set of tees goes to print in the next 2 weeks!)

credits:
The Step By Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking had existed in the form of a poster prior to this- a big thankyou to BN member/ volunteer Shreyasi Kar for making the idea wearable!
To all those Action Heroes who made it to the street actions and other Blank Noise events- your insights created the Step by Step Guide to Unapologetic Walking.

I WISH. I WANT. I BELIEVE

We invited bloggers to tell us their dreams and fantasies for their city. What are the top ten,
twenty, one hundred things that you wish your city just let you to do?

Many of you have emailed us. Thankyou for dreaming, wishing, sharing:

We open the wish list, right here! Do keep sending them in!


" I wish there were more women.. not just in my city but on the planet. I wish more women were not afraid (of men, of society, of being physically weaker) I wish more women would discover their potential and be themselves.

I wish to be able to walk late at night in my city and find atleast 50% of the population, at that time, to be women. "
- Soumya


I wish to...just be myself... not think about who's watching me.. if i want to just sing to my heart's content.. swing about and walk the streets.. laugh... express myself.. without anybody misconstruing anything i do or say!!!!!
Kripa Jagrajan


Complete my work for the day even if it means reaching home at 11 at night (safely, and without having to get nagged by my people of course!) That would be my dream come true.- Amrutha


i would like to walk down the street, wearing whatever i want, without being stared at, or verbally harassed, or laughed at, or scowled at, or looked at as if i were an alien.

i would like to feel safe walking alone at night.
i would like to feel safe walking alone during the day.
i wish i could hug my male friend without getting stared at.
i wish i could swim in a bikini.- anon.

I would love to grow accustomed to being myself.- anon

Well, I would love it if I could see women walking down the streets with their heads held high. Not looking at the pavement, not looking around because they're uncomfortable, jus STRAIGHT AHEAD.-Archana


I wish i could dance in the middle of where ever i was when i heard a
good song ..
i wish i could kiss my BF without having 50000 eyes peering at
me..thinking im a loose woman with no morals
i wish i would sing at the top of my voice while window shopping
i wish i could take off my pullover without worrying abt my top coming
off as well, n my stomach showing, n men ogling at me
i wish i could just scratch my breast or arm pit or whatever if it itched
i wish i could stand on MG doing nothing ..without fear that someone
would recognise me ..or think of me as a pick up
i wish i could go to a tea/pan/cigarette stall at any time of day or
night n not have only men flock around it n make me feel like im
intruding their space- Nazia Masood

I wish I could take a walk or a ride on my bike in the night (midnight even) through Chennai or or Kochi, without fear- asha menon

To go out at night without getting my parents all worried.


I dream of walking through the street, skimpily clad, with no leering glances, my hair uncombed and my manner free spirited , at any god forsaken time of the day or night, without having to think twice or ever ever considering myself the weaker sex, who is obligated to be vary of ones movements for fear of 'inviting trouble'.
i dream of just standing by the sidewalk without reason or purpose.
i dream of sleeping on the pavement, breathing the starry heavens.
i dream of lurking in the shadows of the streets.
i dream of a passing thought, while sitting cross-legged, drinking in the coolness of the concrete.- Manisha Sharma


I wish I could walk down my road, without feeling the weight of a hundred eyes on me/- Sanjana

1. i want to get wet. drenched. all of me wet with rain. and run.
2. i want to walk sideways on the pavement.
3. i want to be able to wear my silver hoops with "SEXY" on it.
4. sit under a tree and read. -Pallavi


Make a plan for the night , wear what I want to ,go where I want to , how I want to, come back when I want to and not worry about violation of any kind- Yamini

I wish I could come and go from my apartment at any hour and not have my landlords tell me that I might be mistaken for a prostitute.- Theresa Lacey



I have a dream, i dream of a Calcutta which is safe. safe so that i can roam through the streets without having to look behind with fear in my eyes. i have another dream, i dream of equality i dont want to be discriminated because i have a vagina or i belong to a different caste. i also dream of an india which can be called utopia. i want to talk to my mashi. i dont want unwanted male attention being inversely proportional to my clothes and i want to have the freedom of choice and expression without being called a "slut".

these dreams are not made up to sound great, i blog about them regularly. i love my city and everything in it ( like a true blue calcuttan) just that some things have gone wrong. it does not make my city rot but my city is not as safe as i would want it to be, i want to change that aspect keeping everything the same. a few things have gone wrong here and there, i just want to undo those changes.
- Anwesha Haldar

I want to be able to walk - slowly, calmly, deliberately, alone.
through the streets at midnight, just so I can see the moon and the stars and write my poetry, without constantly fearing for my body.
Tharunya Balan

I want to walk through the city without feeling like I'm pushed to the edges. Without having to side step for the men who don't make room for me. To feel like I own the street the same way they do.- Abigail crisman

i would like to wear a swimming costume if i go to a beach.
Nisha Chandwani

i want to wear a swimming costume (skirt/shorts......anything with my legs on display) without waxing. lets those curlywurlies show!. i really really want that. and i mean without waxing for 4 months....like right now. my legs resemble a mans. really.
yes so my wish is : to not wax, just for a bit, and yet wear everything that "requires" glossed up legs, arms, underarms...yes. i want that. And to wear a bikini on the beach. its a personal limitation strengthened by stares and glares.- Pallavi Sen


To be treated with respect,
To be considered an equal,
To have men look at me as a real person, not an "ownable" object,
To not have men undress with me their eyes,
To let go of the anger and fear I harbor toward street harassers,
To walk freely without anxiously second guessing who is following me, teasing me, or about to grab me,
To enjoy the sidewalk once again.

For men to actually look me in the eyes and not ogle my breasts, legs, butt,
For men to grow balls and develop some decency (for the love of humanity!),
For women to own their bodies and their physical space,
For women to protect and cherish their rights.- Laura Neuhas


You have those times when you just cant seem to get through the day but somehow u do. only because days brings light & life with them. the nights, however, haunt you and all you want to do is take a walk or drive around...maybe stop for a cup of coffee...i dunno bout other cities doing so, alone in Delhi, is a mortal sin.

From the time of growing up, we are dependent on parents, friends, relatives... just because we cant even think of stepping out of our houses alone at most times. sometimes, even in broad daylight. and then people wonder why are women in Delhi so 'spoilt', we aren't. Its just that we live in terror each day.

I wish i could stop being dependent on others for everything in my life. is that too much to ask...that too in the capital of our country? pallavi malhotra


To walk alone and not be accosted by strangers who've assumed that I need a lift, a conversation, a friend, a lover.

To step out on Holi and not be afraid of water balloons or chunks of ice
To not worry about getting home safe each time I go out with friends.
To not have to keep looking over my shoulder.
Annie



I wanna run wild, on the streets, on the grounds, in front of my house
not when they ask me to run on a race in the meet , nor when I jog in the park
I want to sit idle on the park bench, on the road side, on the beach, on the benches in front of the corner tea shop
I wanna stare!
I wanna hang around!
I wanna whistle in the crowd, inside, outside, in the wilderness of my loneliness
I wanna see the moon rising in the dark sky lying down on the riverbanks, not sitting on my terrace
I wanna swim, as they all do, taking off their outerwears, not caring about anyone else, no not in the pool, in the rivers, in the lakes, in the sea
I wanna drench in the rain, without an umbrella, not accidentally, but for the sake of it
I wanna day dream standing on a crowded aisle,
I wanna walk back from work on a lonely night, and have my dinner @ the
I wanna dance on the pavements,
I wanna go theatres, whatever rating the movie has
I wanna walk slow, when everyone else runs around
I wanna sing, hum, play on the streets, race my bike, catcall, hip-hop, shout, laugh,
I just wanna LIVE!
:) Suman. S


My dream for my city is to be able to walk down the street in a skirt without anyone honking or yelling out a window at me.
Annie


I would like to go for a run whenever I please in my city
I would like to share a healthy discussion about sex
I would like to feel proud of every aspect of my body
Sowmiya Ashok

I want to be relaxed and not chew my nails out every time a female friend is out late at night.- Uday Prakash


I want to be able to not treat every man/boy with suspicion.- Ratna Apnender



Hang out, loaf around, goof about, do total lukkagiri, in any corner of my city without anyone physically molesting me, verbally assaulting me, hauling me to a police chowki, questioning me or analyzing my dress sense, my loud laughter, or why I’m there at that late hour of the night.

I want to sit on the grass in any park in my city or saunter down any sea front promenade in my city and be able to stare at the trees or the sea without being stared at.

I want to be able to enjoy my city’s many spaces without being held hostage to acts of consumption – that is, I may want to buy that cup of coffee because I want to drink a cup of coffee but I don’t want to buy that coffee because that is the only way I can find a place to sit and relax for a bit.

I wish I could find a clean and available place to pee in my city – so that I can enjoy my city outdoors more without having to cross my legs all the time and be in a hurry to go home.

I want to have the right to be out in my city anytime of the day or night without fear, without retribution, without holding my pee and I want everyone else in my city – rich or poor, hawker or homosexual, old or very young, disabled or fat to have this right too.

 Sameera Khan/journalist, writer & researcher/ age 38/Mumbai


I wish i could walk down the street without worrying if any part of my body looks too "inviting"

i wish i had a zap gun to shock every person who gave me unwanted attention

i wish i had a necklace that shot a blinding light at the wandering eyes that lingered too long at my breasts

i wish i never felt bad about myself because of the way some sexually repressed man looked at me.

i wish that there were as many girls and women hanging around idly on the street as there are boys and men.

i wish there was a way to make men see how it feels to be objectified and humiliated every single day. That it is just as much of an insult as it is to be demeaned and disrespected by a corrupt employer or slumlord.

i wish that more men would join the struggle against gender-based violence.- Surabhi


i love walking. i want to be able to take a walk anytime anywhere on my own, and not have to get someone to come along with me depending on the time and place.-Vrinda

I wish I could stand at a crowded bus stop, waiting for a bus, without being made to feel by the leers of passers-by that I was out selling myself.- Tanushree Parial


I want to confidently refuse a lift from a male friend and go back by myself even though it might be late in the night...

I dont want to fret and look at my watch every time i attend a late night party.

I want to travel across this wide and diverse country with my backpack for company and not safety worries...Manjusha Vijaykumar


"If Wimbledon could do it only in 130 years, we should prove to our country that we can accomplish the same in less than half the number of years it took our erstwhile rulers"
Wimbledon has realized and equalled the prize money for both Male and Female participants shedding its 130 Yr old custom of Men being paid higher prize money than Women. What am referring to in my above statement in not in monetary terms, instead its to stress the equality that Men and Women should enjoy in this World be it in Rights, Rituals, References or as all you women dream in Roads too and at any point of time at that.
"Let us strive and succeed in making the difference" ~Vicky.

. i wish my friends would not have to be silent and pretend being 'normal' even when being 'stared' at, every time we go out, only to make sure a scuffle would not ensue. -Krishna


I would love to fly over the city, in a hot-air balloon or a parachute.- Amelie


i'd like to be able to not have to think before
wearing my tank top, or even go out without a
dupatta/chunni (i know it's done a lot but i still get
self-conscious at times!)
Even more, i'd like to be able to hang with a guy in a
bar, without people around 'knowing' that i'm sleeping
with him --- funny (how else to take it?) story here:
one of my neighbours saw me in a local bar with a
friend of mine who was visiting from NYC and
subsequently 'warned' my husband - in a joking manner
- whether he thought it was wise to work such long
hours ... I walked around feeling a little like i was
carrying a big red A on my chest ... but then have
gotten over it & even been spied doing the same thing
:) Atiya Hussain


i second that. i was in madya pradesh last week
shooting a documentary with a japanese american
friend of mine and everywhere we went, the men -
not the women - would ask me in hushed hindi
with a snigger if i was his 'escourt' heavy subtext
and wink nudge - or what our relationship was to
each other, straight off - sickening really that there is
no concept of manners in little india - how is it any
business of theirs to dare ask me personal questions
and also how extremely pathetically narrowminded
to think there can only be one relationship between
an indian woman and a foreign national travellling
together.

so yes. i'd like to be able to travel any number of men
of various nationalities without being given the 'look'
Natasha Hemrajani


I wish I could walk down any street whenever I want, day or night-Prasheila

I wish I could sit on the beach all night and listen to the music the waves make ..- Uma


"i wish Bangalore got a woman's touch as opposed to masculine
monstrosities in terms of architecture, public spaces, etc. "

"i wish all the women i knew can return home late in the night without me worrying about it."
Kunal Ashok


I wish I could just walk out onto the street without having my "game-face" on! - Aviva Dharmaraj


1.i want to DANCE! in public
2.i want to able to sing aloud (ive done it once with this delightful girl) in a BEST!
3.make a dancing chain(hands on shoulders of person in front) and walk down haji ali! dance down.
4.make two nipples on the nipple area of tshirt. this is cos i was made to "delete" the word from an article i once wrote for the malhar mag. it was about BNP. "pert n*****s are not a sign of promiscuity" - Pallavi Sen



i wish i could stretch. i long lumbering warm fuzzy full bodied stretch. like a cat. without thinking about how im looking and am being looked at.

i want to grab my boy and hug him and kiss him cos i love him but im a bit afraid to. in public. they might haul me up for inappropriate behavior. (anon)

'walk around without a bra!'- sangita shirali

Love the roads at night, always hold myself back in the middle of the night…I wish I can just let go.- Shweta Baxi Tyagi

Would love to walk on the streets in peace without being rubbed and fingered or stared at by men. maya

I want to be able to walk down the street naked. I want everyone else to be naked too. Stark naked. There will be no room for an issue.
- anon

I wish Gandhiji's dream of a truely free india becomes a reality -
when a lady wearing all her jewels is able to return home safely all
alone in the middle of the night!~Anand

I wish there were women as nightwatchwomen. Not because watch men are unsafe, but because we have no concept of a nightwatch woman?! Imagine
saying “ watch woman!!”- Jasmeen


There are so many things that I CAN'T do - at least not without a deep sense of unease - purely by virtue of being a woman...
I wish I could wear tank tops and skirts while travelling by public transport on those scorching summer days.
I wish I could walk into a bar alone and nurse my drink, occasionally eating some peanuts, without attracting curious stares, without looking "available."
I wish I could buy condoms without a second thought.
I wish I could travel the country without filling my bags with salwar kameezes and dupattas.
I wish I cared less about my body, about whether or not I looked "fat" or "cheap."
I wish I could go to the gynaecologist without the mortal fear of being "lectured" for being sexually active and yet unmarried.
It goes on and on and on...Aurina


I could walk alone at night with just the moonlight and no fear.
Be a part of a concert and not worry whose hand is where..just enjoy the pure thrill of being there. Tejal


1. I want my husband, father or brother to never ever feel the constant need to protect me.
2. I want to never ever desperately wish I had a male escort while walking on a deserted road after dark.
3. I want no parents to feel the rage, anger and guilt that my parents feel when I encounter abuse on the street.
4. I want pepper sprays to be a thing of the past. -Preeti Raju


i wish .....in my city gorakhpur all person speak up..! on women violence and discrimination....(chuppi toro)- manish

I would like to see my city as police station free city.( i mean no necessity of tht)- Sudheer


what i really want is to walk in this city, at any time of the day be it morning, noon or night without

a)anyone slowing down their car and presuming that if a girl is walking then she HAS to be fair game

b) school boys thinking that whistling at a woman and singing songs is a rite of passage which they cannot do without

c) i want to walk without looking over my shoulder all the time. Delhi is a beautiful city and just for once I want to walk, taking in the surroundings, admire the trees, the buildings and the chirping of the birds without wondering if the man behind me is actually the creep at the previous bus stop who was staring at me.- Nikita

1. Be able to take a nice book out to Cubbon Park by myself, sit on a bench, and read in peace.
2. Be able to ride a bicycle to work without feeling like I'm on a suicide mission- Debbie Gross

i want to wear a lakhnawi dress without a slip underneath.
i dont want to be looked over when i wear tight tops.
i want to wear short skirts, dresses no matter my figure.
i want to shop on crowded streets without worrying about groping.
i dont want to think twice before going out on the eve of holi.
i want to hang around a disco/pub without looking 'available'
i want to m
ove about any way i want, without adjusting my top/jeans. i dont want to worry abt my cleavage showing. -varsha chandwani

. I want to go to a concert and the market place without
worrying about being groped
I want to be able to tell a new male acquaintance that
I live alone with female roommates without worrying
about compromising my safety
I want to get wet in the rain without worrying about
my nipples showing
I want to work out and play squash in a white t-shirt
without being stared at once the sweat makes it
transparent.
Sowmya rajaram


I wish to walk around once without being virtually raped.
I wish to feel free even while I am walking through the crowds.
I wish to work in a non-gender-biased environment in my city.
I wish to proclaim loudly that I am equally Mentally Strong and Technically Updated like my Male colleagues.
I wish to feel the open night breeze run through my hair on the city roads in my city.
I wish to walk through the crowd without the fear of being touched... in my city.
I wish to taste that dish served by that food stall guy in those secret alley's in my city.
I want freedom to Eat, Drink and Wander around in public without any Fear in my City. -SVETA TARE


I would love to go jogging at the beach or along carters without being conscious of the fact that "too much of me" is moving ....

I would love to wear my white shirts more often without thinking twice before wearing them.. in the fear of everything being transparent at the end of the day....i hate carryin those files just to cover my bust..

I would love to feel secure and comfortable past 8,the next time i am waiting for a friend on the road...

I wish i could still wear my short tops without having to stretch them till they completely cover my tummy..

................................so many things to say....most of them seem to be the "wrong thing" to do....

PS i hate it when anybody say" are you sure you want to wear that?"....i am always sure.. - Shreya Pilgaonkar


I could sit on the promenade, reading, without the searching stares, without the raised eyebrows or the none-too-discreet gestures.
I could leave the house in my tracks and ganjee, without worrying about whether or not I will be whistled at or groped.
I could sit in an auto without holding my bag tight against my chest.
I could walk without the insistent honking of a car drowning out my music.
I could run without first checking that I have on the most supportive bra ever known to womankind.
I could stand, sometimes, for no other reason than the fact that I want to.
I could eat pani-puri on the streets, just by myself, without always having to wait for someone to come along.
I could take an auto at night through the smaller lanes, so I get home earlier, instead of having to go all the way around.

I WISH....
that within the walls and spaces, within the streets and the alleys, within the chaos and the sudden startling serenity, within the madness of urbanity, within its rare silence, I could be me. Just myself in my city.- Chinmayee manjunath


1. Go out late at night to watch stars, go for a drink, come back from a friend’s house …
2. Ride my bicycle through whatever territory I want at whatever time of the day or night
3. Feel safe in a taxi by myself
4. Wear short skirts when it’s very hot without being stared at
5. Not wear my sunglasses at day time to stop people thinking I look at them ‘provocatively’
6. Eating ice cream without feeling obscene
7. Kissing my boyfriend in public when I feel like it
8. Riding a rickshaw without hearing kissing noises from guys on the side of the street
9. Lying in the park reading a book without someone coming up to me and asking me ‘which country’ and liberally continuing onto more private issues effectively spoiling my day
10. Being alone in an open space/landscape without feeling unsafe


My wish is very small!! I often stay awake late and in between my work, I st and in my balcony and watch the quiet, deserted, and beautiful road in front my house. Once in a while I find a man walking with his hands in his pockets, or with a cigarette in his hand, softly whistling or lost in thoughts walking along. I want to walk all alone, past midnight on the lonely streets of my city, enjoying its beauty without its crowds, without its noise. Just go for a long walk all alone without the fear of violence!! I REALLY DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH OF IT IS THE INSTILLED AND INTERNALIZED FEAR WITHIN ME AND HOW REALLY THREATENING ARE THE ROADS IN THE NIGHT. I HAVE NEVER WALKED THE ROADS ALONE PAST MIDNIGHT!! - SHARADA

I want to not worry about my legs being unwaxed and wear a skirt, without being gawked at by men and women alike.
I want to smile at a man without being afraid of him harassing me.
I want to smile at people without them thinking I am a lunatic.
I want to live.
I want to be me.
I want to wear a burkha and sit in a theatre.
I want to go for a movie on my own.
I want to sing while I walk without being thought of as inviting.
I want to not worry about my bra strap showing.
I want to not have to wear a bra.
I want to be able to sit in a park alone and not be harassed.

-Suparna

I want to play and run along with my son on the
roads in my colony and also playgrounds.He wants it. I
enjoy it.- Madhuri Kalpa

1. i wish there were no such terms as 'skimpy' or 'revealing' when it comes to clothes...clothes are just clothes

2. i wish i could wear whateeever i wanted to wherever..be it office..or when im going by bus, auto..anything!

3. and i wish i could go for late night cycle rides anywehere...not just in the universty of hyderabad!

3. i also wish there was no friggin dress code in offices/colleges

4. and i most certainly wish bangalore city becomes less crowded and less polluted and LESS expensive!!!

5, n that people got married only when they felt like it...with no pressure of time or age or body clock or any of the crap!

6. and that my wokr timings got better so that i could have sent this list two days ago >:|

Chitra Badrinarayan

1. I want to go out with boys and not hear my mother's voice in my head warning me to "not let them try anything!".
2. I want to laugh out loud in the street and not have people throw me disapproving looks.
3. I want to be able to hug friends without worrying about what they're thinking.-Tharunya Balan

I wish I could kiss my man deep and long, without having to pull away because someone's staring.

I wish I could book a room for two without being looked at oddly.

I wish it wasn't necessary to always travel in groups to be 'safe'.

I wish I could travel without worrying about what to wear and who will say what.

I wish I could walk around in a loose and comfortable bra.

I wish I could wear transparent clothes without a slip in the scorching summer heat.

I wish I could walk out of the house before sunrise without a worry in my head.

I wish I could stand at chowpatty, look out at the sea and sing my heart out.

I wish I could wear tight, short, dressy stuff in the local and not be stared at.

I wish that I could walk along the shore at Marine Drive late every night, alone, without anything but the moonlight, and anyone but my shadow.-Riya

I wish smiles were innocuous. I wish I didn't have to analyze whether a man's smile was friendly, or not. I want to smile back without an implied invitation.- Sujata Bhat

1. I want to sit with a friend without being termed anything demeaning...at any hour of the day!
2. I want to get back from work and be able to go for a walk
3. I want to wear 'airy' tops in sweltering Delhi heat
4. I want to sit without wondering if people, sitting behind me, are gawking
5. I want to take the right of men (in my life & otherwise) to tell me what to do/ wear “for my own good”
6. I wish people wouldn’t press themselves on me in public transport…even when I am clad in a suit!
I wish I had the freedom to be on my own & just be myself…
-Pallavi Malhotra, 23, Delhi


You have those times when you just cant seem to get through the day but somehow u do. only because days brings light & life with them. the nights, however, haunt you and all you want to do is take a walk or drive around...maybe stop for a cup of coffee...i dunno bout other cities doing so, alone in Delhi, is a mortal sin.

From the time of growing up, we are dependent on parents, friends, relatives... just because we cant even think of stepping out of our houses alone at most times. sometimes, even in broad daylight. and then people wonder why are women in Delhi so 'spoilt', we aren't. Its just that we live in terror each day.

I wish i could stop being dependent on others for everything in my life. is that too much to ask...that too in the capital of our country?

I wish I could wake up and walk out to get my paper without stressing about the "right clothing"

I wish I could walk on the road at night with out looking back.

I wish I could ask for contraception at a pharmacy- irrespective of the gender of the salesperson

I wish I could walk to the swimming pool from the dressing room in my swim suit ONLY

I wish I didnt always have to wear a bra

I wish I didnt have to glare back at random men on the road as much as I have to

I wish I could buy wine without getting odd looks

I wish I could take myself out for a drink alone at a bar and not look available

I wish I could stand anywhere on the road for however long- without feeling the need to change positions or look down

I wish I could just walk. Whenever, whereever, however.- anon

• that i could wear high heels and feel sexy - and not have to worry about whether i'll be able to run away in time

• that my city did not view me as just a body, i wish i could get rid of the feeling that to be a woman is to be a body, i wish i could forget my body

• i wish i could sing out loud the songs stuck in my head - and not have passing men think i am singing the songs because i am attracted to them

• i wish i could own a bright bright bright neon red car, drive alone at midnight, turn up its stereo to the max, make it wheels screech on the tar - and no one bats an eyelid when they realise the driver is a girl

• i wish it was possible for me to bend down to pick up things that happen to drop - and not have to think twice about it.

• i wish i could let myself fall asleep on the bus after a tiring day - and not have to worry about whose groping hands will wake me up

• i wish for the day to come when i feel empowered enough to bargain with auto wallahs after dark, i wish i could spend that extra money on icecream- PRIYANKA