I am an American woman. At the time I was 27, in Paris with a girlfriend. We met a couple of young men at a falafel stand, who took us to a disco tech. We danced with them for probably an hour before we met some British people, who took all of us to an after-hours club. As these things go, I drifted away from the first guy to explore my possibilities on the new dance floor. This man started to whine and throw a fit, demanding an explanation as to why I no longer wanted to hang out with him. I didn't feel the need to explain my position to him; I was appalled at his lack of shame in his pathetic display and I simply told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He slapped me and turned around to flee. My instinct was to hit back--I kicked him. The crowd reacted quickly and he was escorted out of the building. I was angry and shocked, but I never felt afraid. I felt that I was surrounded by people who shared my same "culture," meaning we all understood the subtle and ever-shifting behavior in the nightclub scene. Looking back this man was clearly an "outsider" who was unfamiliar with this nightclub culture and in fact he was not a native of France (I won't say where he was from). What I learned from this man was that something in his up-bringing, i.e. culture, gave him a sense of entitlement to my attention after having known me for only a couple of hours. It's this complete difference in how the two of us view relationships with the opposite sex that scares me. We obviously both felt strongly about our positions. I could never be convinced that I owed him anything in this situation; could he ever be convinced that I didn't?
time : 2 am
location: Paris
age at the time of experience: 27
current age: 31
felt anger
Posted 27th September 2008
