Being 12

I was in a public bus going to school and I remember those eyes staring at me. I was in my uniform. It was a white colour physical training (PT) uniform. I remember being stared at almost the entire journey. It almost felt as if I was not wearing any clothes. I remember being so uncomfortable with my body.

There are two more such memories all between the age range of 12-15. One was where I was groped in the bus and I was too young to do any thing about it but I was so angry with myself and felt like cutting off that part of me.

The earliest experience of being violated was at such a young age that its much later in life that I realized what that man was doing. He was a half bald man, the uncle types, a man in his mid 40's and he would often come in the public bus I would travel back home in. He would give a smile, help me find a seat and then come near me and and rub his penis on my hand. I would be holding on to my school bag and my hand would be in such a position that he could easily do it. It only years later that I remembered that warm sensation on my hand and I don't know how I figured out what was actually happening.

Its not that I was unaware of things at that age. My mother has always been very particular about discussing harassment on the road and what safety measures my sister and I should take if such an event is to occur but it did not even strike me!

Action Shero Parmeet

Place: Kolkata