ACTION HERO DIMWIT

My cousin Binny

This is about my cousin Binny. Also known as Gabbar-Behen. But only to those who have seen her in action. At other times, she is, as she appears, 24 years old, 5ft 8in of svelte beauty with waist length straight black hair.

Daughter of Basanti the ultra-feminine beauty queen of a mother who wears her charms in a more traditional way.

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One day Basanti and Binny went on their usual bonding ritual also known as shopping. All seemed normal but there was rumbling in the distance. A group of three road romeos sighted their prey and began prowling towards Binny and Basanti, who were blissfully ignorant of being stalked with wolf whistles and cat calls.

Then the antennae of the ever present maternal instinct caught the scent of danger and began shepherding her little one to safety.

Basanti: Beta, lets move aside and ignore those bad boys.

Binny: Why should I move aside and give them way? They should move aside and let me pass!

Basanti: We don’t want trouble. We are two ladies. Lets just avoid.

Binny: Mom, it is women like you who behave in a weak way presenting a vulnerable front to these eve-teasers. If you continue to move aside without confrontation, why would they stop the teasing? We should look straight at them and make sure they understand that we are NOT victims.

Basanti: These are all filmi baatein. This is not practical.

Binny: We’ll find out right now!

Basanti and Binny continued to walk directly towards the lecherous trio who were expecting them to change paths. Binny adopted an aggressive stance in her walk and stared daggers directly at the three. The trio was shocked at this turn of events. The prey no longer considered itself vulnerable. The threesome slinked away without further intimidation. Basanti discovered that what she feared was much like the famed WMDs of Saddam Hussain.

Binny: Kitney aadmi they…


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Another day when Basanti and Binny were out and about once again err… bonding. This time they were in a crowded area of CP now called Indira Chawk in New Delhi. Usual haunt of the rub-against-you-romeo.

They bumped into friends there and were chitchatting in front of a store. The crowd was heavy with Diwali shoppers. Tourist police were in abundance thereby deterring harassment of the tourists. Which left local people to fend for themselves. One Romeo, emboldened by the crowd and unable to detect the Gabbarness of Gabber-behen, decided to rub up on pretty Binny.

Binny spun around with a GROWL, morphing from pretty-Binny to Gabbar-behen in one second. She spit out a string of vile abuses starting from MCBC, to all the ones that cannot be spelled out without loosing this blog to censorship. The rub-up Romeo fell back under this unexpected verbal assault which continued unabated. Finally, Romeo almost fell to his knees with folded hands and mumbled apologies before melting into the patli-gali – as colorfully suggested by my cousin Binny.

Posted 21st March 2007