A lawyer I was interacting with in the course of an internship, once said that women who get into trouble with drunk boys in cars, while waiting for an auto on their way back home, are the sort of women that are looking for that kind of trouble.
It is intriguing that large sections of our communities think that public space is meant for male sexual aggression, and women who seek to access the public space without any believable reason, are 'that sort of women'.
Women who stroll on the roads on lazy afternoons, or meet friends over beer- that is, without any partcular need to be out in the public sphere- must all be 'that sort of women'.
Everytime I think of sharing my story in the public sphere, I think they must all think I one of 'that sort of women'.
What else can a woman be called if she trusted someone in a college campus, to chat once in a while with him, drink and smoke with him? Dance with him at a party? What else can a woman be called if she thought he got the message the first time around, that she wasn't looking for anything sexual, but if he wanted to hang around, chat, be friends she'd be more than game?
What does one call a woman who thought he got the message and ventured to chat with him when both were quite high at a party again... of course, it was her fault that in drunken stupor she did not resist when he made the advance. What did she expect- that in the middle of an advance, if she protested, tried to get out of the situation, a man would hear of it? Of course, no man would... if she had to say NO, she should have said it in the beginning... she should not have acted friendly with him, she should not have agreed to chat with him away from the crowds....
'THAT SORT OF WOMEN DESERVE THIS SORT OF THING'.
I am not as angry that this happened to me, as I am angry that there is virtually no support mechanism for this kind of an incident. It's almost like I voluntarily put my foot into the lion's den, so I deserve the attack. I am angry that large numbers of people believe that I must not live my life the way I want to, because men have the right to unfettered sexual expression/aggression, that men never have to respect my personal liberties, but I must always look out for their excesses....
Thank you blanknoise, for giving me a voice...
- Action Hero Anglophilicbong
