Being 7

7 years old. I was travelling with my grandfather and my twin sister on a train from Mumbai to Bidar. on the upper berth of the non Ac compartment, was a short bearded man who asked me if I knew how to play the "dots game". As a child I wanted to learn the game and teach It to my friends. I remember what I was wearing. Long shorts, knee length with a white and light blue collared t-shirt. With every dot I connected the man would touch a part of my body, and soon the touching escalated. I am not comfortable  with talking about what happened next. I remember liking the pleasure until the set in. Soon after, my twin was also on the upper berth with the short bearded man. I remember the smell and I remember the pain. 

Being 17.

My first awareness of sexual violence and harassment came during the first year of my undergraduate studies in Delhi University. Our college had organised a seminar, in which Annie Zaidi was a speaker for a session. She discussed the words of abuse with which women are referred to on streets, in the course of what in those years was called eve-teasing. I was 17 years old at that time, and had lived a sheltered life in a very comfortable bubble. Talk seminar made me interrogate my privilege and position in society, and acted as my first initiation into feminist activism.

Action Shero Anubhav Pradhan

Place: Delhi

Being 11

On a crowded public bus when the conductor repeatedly groped my left breast. That is really my first memory of having breasts, as my body had begun to change a few months / weeks before the incident.

Action Shero Aarti Laxman Rastogi

Place: Chennai

Being 9

I've always been aware of catcalls and whistles and stares, ever since I was a young girl growing up in the 90s in what used to be one of the safest cities in India - Kolkata. It's hard to recall my first memory.

At some time it had started to seem a matter of course that running errands for my mum at the grocer's nearby in the evenings would mean crossing the group of boys sitting around in their bikes and leering. It was also a matter of course that I would have my head bowed with fear of eye contact. I may have heard them say things clearly aimed at me which I didn't understand at the time, though I felt the intent vaguely. Or they sang snatches of film songs when I passed. I was terrified of going out into the streets alone and would slouch to blur my growing breasts.

Though I'm relatively more equipped to handle eve-teasing now than when I was 9 (well not really; petite me was hugged successively last year by a random old man and a high school student on Delhi streets), I'm still afraid of the chance eye-contact with strangers on the street. It's ridiculous, having to live with that fear and walking blinkered because of a large number of men that would probably get a hard-on at the sight of a polo mint.

Action Shero Kaushani

Place: Kolkata, India

Being 5

The first time I experienced sexual harassment in public spaces, I was five years old, walking to school with a male friend my age. Older boys surrounded me, pinching my cheeks and trying to lure me to one of their houses. My friend ran away and I stood crying, scared. The dad of another friend saw what was happening and he thankfully intervened and helped me get to school safely. This experience taught me that public spaces are not always safe for me, a message that was reinforced hundreds of times by men who harassed me and even chased or touched me without consent when I was a teenager and a young woman in my 20s and 30s.

Action Shero Holly

Being 13

Mine was when I had wore a pair of jeans and full armed T shirt with a wide neck. Not only did I hear the boys on the road whistle and make those cheesy kissing noises (that most of the times is also used to call out to the dogs), even the Police men on the road were clearly leching. I was just about 12-13 years old. Though I did not understand why I was feeling humiliated, I felt humiliated and guilty even at that age. This took place in Kodagu district, Madikeri town. my hometown.

The second time was when a man passing by me, passed a lewd comment such as ""lovely knocks"" or some crap like that. My friend's sister who was walking along with me, instead of being irritated with the man who said it, in turn advised me 'not to wear' the sleeve-less T I was wearing, ever again!! I was around 18years old. This Happened in Malleshwaram area in Banagalore.

Action Shero Anonymous

Place: Karnataka

Being 18

When I was walking back from school and a young boy, probably a street child, grabbed my breast.  Fortunately I was wearing my school blazer and so while I didn't as violated (if I had not been wearing the blazer)  it left me feeling used and powerless even against a person almost my age and size.

Action Shero Manjari Chakravarti

Place: Lucknow, UP

Being 6

 I am not sure if the incident was sexual. But I definitely remember feeling violated at the age of 6. I was with my mother around Burabazzar area in Kolkata. We were waiting outside some shop. A man walked passed me and I felt excruciating pain on my arm. I screamed and by the time my mother realized he was lost in the crowds. This psychopath had stubbed his cigarette on my arm and walked away.

Place: Kolkata

Being 12

A school sports day in Sydney Australia. We had to travel by train home after the event and were given permission to wear our sports uniforms home. I was maybe 12 or 13 and wearing only shorts and shirt because my tunic was lost.
On the train one old man pinched my bum! I could hardly believe it so I pinched him back!

Action Shero Dianne Sharma

Place: Sydney, Australia

Being 12

I was 12-13 years old and on my way back from tennis practice. I would usually wear shorts and a t-shirt to tennis practice every evening. I would always sit in the front passenger seat and eat my snack on the way back home. One evening on the way back from tennis i had my snack box in my hand and i could feel my driver's eyes staring down at my legs. At first i thought he was just looking at the gear, but even at a traffic signal i could feel his eyes staring down at them. I can never forget that feeling of discomfort, I just couldn't wait to get home. I was so uncomfortable that I pretended like I needed something out of my tennis kit and reached to the back seat, grabbed it, pretended to look for something, and then placed it on my lap to cover my legs the rest of the way home. After that day I never sat in the front seat of the car next to my driver, I was not comfortable being in the car alone with him.

Action Shero Anonymous

Place: Bangalore

Being 10

I was 10, my father and i went to get colours and pichkari for holi to a market which wasnt very crowded, but in a locality which wasn't very secure. i was standing right beside my father and was wearing a frock when i felt someone groping my butt, and i was shocked and startled, i looked back and this uncle was standing there with a confident smile on his face. As i tugged my dad's hand to tell him someone was behind us, he went away.. I was really angry and couldn't fathom why or what had happened to me for a long time.

Action Shero Anonymous

Place: Noida

Being 26

My Lucky Stars. I know I would have been gang raped that day in Mathikere, one of the most crowded areas, if I hadn't rushed to my car & locked myself in & driven off at TOP SPEED. My brother & I had been to a restaurant a few lanes past my house. We parked in a dark by-lane opposite an old building, a hostel. There was rush in the hotel too & too many men. My bro feeling protective and did not want me to stand in the Queue. We decided one would get the food and the other would pick the car and come back to the hotel. As I was walking towards my car, I felt a groups of guys walking into the same lane as I was. I heard footsteps behind me. The Footsteps started gaining speed. I could hear them now & understand a few words of malayalam. "Lets catch the deer". Alarm bells rang in my head, strategies to escape the group of perverts. If I had run, they would instantly catch me. Hence I picked pace gradually and rushed to my car, sat in and locked my doors immediately. Started the vehicle. By the the guys had caught up and come to the car. They tried opening my door & started banging on the window & top. I just drove at top speed & might even have injured the foot of the person trying to open the door. It was a scare I still cannot forget. An advantage of a few seconds saved my life that day.

Action Shero Anonymous

Place: Bangalore

Being 24

I was working in MNC Tech-support centre. The Tempo-traveler driver would drive at maniacal speeds for cheap thrills on the roads of Bangalore. Others did not want to go against the driver and make an issue out of it. Talking him out of speeding only earned his ire. Anticipating a road accident, I complained to the management about the driver. He disappeared from our route for a month & came back again to seek revenge. Some drivers warned & asked me to avoid his route for sometime. He would deliberately drop me last late in the night, make lewd comments, declare threats. It was scary to be in the same place as him. I had already put my papers and quit in a weeks time & hence unknowing escaped a plight that a few years later happened Pratibha from HP. She was brutally raped and murdered by the cab driver. A few months after I quit, one of the vehicles of the MNC lost control banged into the wall of HAL compound. A young lad, new joinee, died in the accident and many were injured. Speed control was introduced & measures were taken.

Action Shero Anonymous

place: Bangalore

Being 12

Since my parents were quite protective of me in my childhood it was quite a while before I was confronted with this looming issue. The earliest memory of street harassment would be when I would walk alone to the market nearby and could literally feel the gaze of several jobless men on the road. There was singing songs, sleazy dialogues from Hindi movies and the whispered or loud remarks as I walked by. It failed to bother me after a point.

It was maybe because I never risked wandering into an empty lane alone as a child or I lived on a busy street that my earliest memory of street harassment is nothing that scarred me forever. However the feeling is something that makes me uncomfortable and causes me to hasten my pace as I'm walking on the road, avoiding eye contact or any sort of communication with the person who causes this discomfort.

Action Shero Pallavi Dutta

Place: Kolkata

Being 12

My first vivid memory of sexual harassment occured when I was around 12 or 13 years old. Those were the days when E-ticket booking was not common, and one had to reserve the seats online, and the ticket would be delivered at your doorstep.

Since my both my parents have jobs, I had the task of collecting the ticket.

The doorbell rang at around 3 in the afternoon. This is how it should've happened. I open the door but not the grill, collect the ticket, read out the PNR number, sign the slip and close the door.

Except that is not how it happened.

I collected the ticket, took the list and asked for the place to be signed upon.

There was the locked grill between us and yet that did not bother him.He cupped my breast and squeezed it and at the same pointed out the place to be signed.

I quickly signed on the paper, returned the papers to him and shut the door behind me.

This happened twice.

To this day, I shudder to think what would've happened if the grill wasn't locked. Also, i'm writing this story anonymously, not because I prefer not to disclose my identity, but because when I think of this incident, its a little hard to digest the fact that I had been a victim of child abuse. That I just let him get away with it. That I knew what he was doing, but did not slap his hand away, because I was so terrified and shocked

Action Shero Shipra

Place: Bangalore

Being 4

Calcutta. Maidan. February 27th. 8pm. My mother and I were really excited about the elaborate book fair that took place every spring. We entered this stall of books on art. Ever since i was a child, those books appealed to me. So engrossed in one of the books, I failed to notice the presence of a middle aged man (my guess would be 40ish) too close for comfort. Suddenly, this man started commenting on a human anatomy book, few decibels above normal, as if to grab my attention. He said things like "Bah, ki shundor...ei shober-i toh dorkar". (Wow, so beautiful, only all this is important). I looked at what he was commenting and was highly disturbed to see him staring at a rendering of a nude woman. I kept glancing through other books, as it was the ONLY way by which i could ignore what had just happened. Soon enough i could feel something poking me. I swiftly turned to find that very man rubbing his erected genitals on me. I was in a state of shock and my mind was blank. Somehow my instincts made me run to my mom who was just five steps away. I couldn't explain to her anything at that moment but just pointed out to that man. I don't know what she understood, what she assumed but she guarded me from that man and we left that stall.

Shockingly enough, that man followed us to the next stall without our notice, and this time he tried the same thing on my mom. Both of us petrified, left that place immediately and were too scared to even console each other.

Action Shero Anonymous

Place: Kolkata

Being 12

I was a regular 12 year old girl who made movie plans with her friends. so i went to the mall with my dad to get the tickets. my dad said he would be waiting in the car for me. the mall happened to be really crowded that day. I was waiting for the elevator with like some 20+ strangers around me. there was a lot of pushing while getting in the elevator , and that's when I felt someone squeezing my butt. I was obviously shocked and numb . I turned around and saw a hefty uncle ...probably in his early 40's glaring at me with his red eyes. The elevator was so crowded and he stood right in front of me and didn't look away for even a second. that made me even more uncomfortable and I had no place to move. well in the next floor the crowd suddenly disappeared . And it was just him and me in the elevator...and luckily another man entered , which made me feel a little safe apart from the fact that this man shamelessly stood next to me and kept glaring at me. the minute i reached my floor i ran out and got my tickets and then i find him stand right behind me , still staring and creeping me out. I couldn't look at his face anymore and didn't have the guts to take the elevator so i rushed to the escalator and left the mall ,ran to my dad panting and scared. He asked me what happened but i couldn't utter a word . And now when ever i think of that day , i just wished i could shout out loud in that elevator , but again, i was just 12 !

Action Shero Anamika

Place: Navi Mumbai

Being 12

When I was harassed for the first time in yehlanka, I felt no better than a punching bag.two boys on the bike were taking round outside my house. They exactly knew where I lived and how far I travelled. They would often pass sleazy comments at me to draw attention. On one of my trips to the market, when I was walking alone on the road, they came behind me and try to grab my back. Thankfully I turned and jumped in the bushes. They missed the prey. I felt quite victorious but threat and imposing seance of danger still lingered. On my way back from the market, the same men on the very same bike fisted and punched me hard on my hip. It was pretty obvious from the way they hit me that they were angry. They were angry because they missed their target or were they angry because I teased them unintentionally by being able to protect myself from them the first time. After closed retrospection, I came to a dilemma. I had a choice to make. Either to get felt up and sexually harmed or to be violently hit and abused. Should I just surrendered or put up a fight knowing that I will loose.

Action Shero Anonymous

Place: Gujarat

Being 13

Well I haven’t had any nerve-wracking experiences, as far as eve-teasing is concerned. Mild forms of eve-teasing such as cat-calling, staring, passing comments, or just a once over, at least one of them is a daily dose for every woman.

The debate remains-How much is too much? To what extent must women ignore and move on? Is retaliating the best solution? Does walking away in silence with your head down seem right to you?

There’s no dearth of pepper sprays, pocket knives, or even self-defense classes. But what purpose do all of these serve when we are attacked and for a split second, we find ourselves in the shackles of fear, worry and helplessness.

With recent comments by politicians stating that women must learn to dress acceptably and must not get carried away by western influences, and blaming the rampant cases of rape on the explicit content featured in the films nowadays- Who is answerable?

In a century where there are cases of a woman being raped in her own apartment by her watchman, precautions like stay indoors after a certain time seem laughable.

So what should a woman do when confronted by such situations? If she turns around and slaps the offender, what’s to stop him from returning with a bunch of other hooligans like him, and swarming around the woman rendering her vulnerable?

Subah chaai peete waqt, akhbaaron mein balaatkaaron ki khabrein padhte toh hai, magar hamdardi ke alaawa de bhi kya sakte hai? (We read the news of women being raped as we sip our tea, but what more can we do apart from sympathizing? )

Action Shero Shipra

Place: Bangalore

Being 15

I remember this incident from when i was younger. i was in the bus on my way to school. it had so happened that i didn’t get the school bus and had to catch a public bus to school. I was standing in the ladies section of the bus and it was really crowded. There was someone behind me pushing and shoving me. I thought it was some lady and never looked back until i felt a hand at my waist. i turned around to realize it was a man standing in middle of all the ladies and groping anyone around him. I glared at him and asked him to move to the guys section, i guess that is when everyone realized he was there. All the ladies started screaming and shouting it him and he just saying 'there's no space sister. I am sorry I was'nt being indecent. It's just there's no space'. When did no space become an excuse for groping people??

Action Shero Anonymous

Place: Pune, Maharashtra