Where are the men?

I've been reading the blog-a-thon posts, and it makes me wonder - where are the men? Please speak - in support or in dissent.

Did I hear 'why?' Or 'how?'

When we teach criminal law, one of the basic theories of criminalisation, we say, is that a crime causes not just a specific harm to a particular person, but a more general harm to society. Harassment is a crime in just that sense of the word. It hurts us, as women - we are the victims (how I hate that word!) But it also hurts us as people. It turns us from people into pieces of flesh, into things to be possessed, into sexual objects. It silences half our population, it censors half of all thought. It creates an atmosphere of fear, of dependence, of distrust. And speaking about it helps - even if it is just to create a feeling of solidarity. That's the answer to your 'why'.

Say something. Why you are silent when her eye catches yours, pleading for rescue from the touchy-feely next to her. How appreciation is not lechery. The time when you did something. The time when you didn't. Anything at all. That's how.

- Action Hero Erimentha

Last post of the day

Well, the fifth post of the day - the end of my blog-a-thon (Yeah, I know one post was all that was expected, but what to do, I always talk too much). And I thought I'd post about some things I saw - comments, even posts. But one keeps coming back to me. Harassing me, if you will. It's at http://greatbong.net/2005/08/05/bibiji-zyara-dheere-maro/

He thinks the point of Blank Noise is that even looking at girls is an offence. Well, as far as I know, the point of Blank Noise is to create awareness about street harassment. But semantic quibbling aside, I think his problem of 'What's the difference between just looking appreciatively and harassment' is something a lot of people share. So here's my attempt to clear the confusion.

What's the difference between chaudvin ka chand ho, ya aftaab ho, jo bhi ho tum khuda ki kasam, lajawab ho and tu cheez badi hai mast mast?

Between a woman in a bra in an undergarment ad and a woman in a bikini in an alcohol ad?

Between a classical dancer portraying sringara and Baby Doll gyrating to the latest remix?

The difference is that there is no cruelty (I use the word as opposed to violence, because we are so conditioned to thinking of violence as physical) in the first, but cruelty is all there is in the second. It is the cruelty that says, "you are a thing; you are worth nothing; I can use you, possess you, and you can do nothing" (with apologies to Andrea Dworkin).

And that is the difference between a look of appreciation and a letch. Appreciation is when you glance at me, look into my eyes, pay me the compliment, and move on. Letching is when you look me up and down, and if I catch your eye, either look away furtively or stare a challenge at me; where it is not about beauty, or even sex, but about the power to define who I am, how I react.

- Action Hero Erimentha

Responses

Well, having read through a lot of the blank noise posts, I wanted to respond to two themes that seemed to keep cropping up.

The first one is one I talked about yesterday too - referencing GreatBong's post. And the theme of "you can't blame a man for looking" seemed to recur in many of the posts I read. At the same time, so many posts talked about how a look can make you feel violated and dirty. So I just wanted to add one thing to what I said yesterday: make the effort to get your point across. When we talk, we do that. We even do it when we don't talk - when I look questioningly at the person sitting beside an empty seat, when I stop a chit passing through class with a glance, I do it. And I'm sure men do it too. So when the meaning of a look is appreciation and not possession, get that point across. You have to adjust the style of communication to the recipient - something you do as a matter of course in all communication. Why is it so dificult when it's to a woman? Or is it difficult because the message is sexual? 'Appreciation' can be, will be, about sexual attraction. That does not make it 'bad'. When what you mean by sexual attraction is cruelty, a denial of my personhood, that hurts.

Which brings me to my second point. So may of the posts/comments talked about how this was in some way connected to the harasser's repressed sexuality. Sending the feminist in me wincing, of course. Because no part of street harassment - not the groping, not the letching, not the flashing or the masturbation - is about sex or desire. It's about a sexual response to a power high. And that's sick.

- Action Hero Erimentha

Boys will be boys

The point of a blog-a-thon, of course, is not what you say, but that you say it. Just as the point of running in a marathon (for must of us, at least) is not to set a new World Record, but simply to put on a T-shirt for your chosen cause, slip into the sneakers you bought six months ago (as part of a New Year's resolution) and have never worn, and just have a go at it.

So theoretically, I could say pretty much anything in this post. I could quote Shakespeare "I will be angry: what hast thou to do? / Father, be quiet, he shall stay my leisure". I could find some obscurely apt poem and quote that. I could wax eloquent about socio-cultural conditions and the embeddedness of sexual harassment in patriarchal institutions. I could come up with my own two-bit analysis on how the problem could be 'solved', ignoring, with my usual blitheness, my complete lack of factual information.

Thinking about it, though, I can't shake the feeling that anything meaningful I tried to say on the topic would be mere impostor. Never having experienced street harassment first-hand, or having studied it in any way (academics, of course, are not governed by the rule of knowing what they're talking about), it's hard to think of a piece I could write for this blog-a-thon that couldn't be written better by others, and wouldn't therefore, constitute a presumption.

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to try to be analytical or insightful. I'm going to fall back on my old safeguard - poetry. I'm going to break (for the third time in some 300+ posts) my self-imposed rule on not posting poems on this blog, and post one written for the blog-a-thon. It's the best I can do.

Boys will be boys

“Boys will be boys”, you shrug and say,

“You should have said no and not allowed it.”

No. I’m sorry. It’s not okay.

“Next time, come to me. I’ll find a way.

I’m strong, I can help you out. It’s

Just boys being boys. That’s all”, you say.

“It’s not like they hurt you anyway.

Now the neighbours will have to hear about it –

You know, you know that’s not okay”.

“It’s your own fault for being on display,

The sway of your hips, your breasts, your pout. It

Makes the boys want to be boys”, you say.

“They didn’t mean you any harm.” Didn’t they?

The anger rises to my mouth. It

Says: No. No. It’s not okay.

If someone gets hurt it isn’t play.

It isn’t fun if someone cries out, it

Isn’t ‘boys being boys’, as you always say.

Oh, I’m sure you’d rather that I stay

At home; that you make the rule and I don’t flout it.

But no, I’m sorry, that’s not okay.

I’ll not be quiet till it goes away

I’m going to scream it, I’m going to shout it.

Let your boys say what they want to say.

I’ll not put this off for some other day

We fix this now – no two ways about it.

No, I’m sorry, it’s not okay.

And it’s not up to you what I may or may

Not do. You’ve got your view and you’re free to spout it.

“Boys will be boys”. I will have my say.

If they’re boys they must be taught to obey;

If they’re men they can learn to do without it.

No, I’m sorry, it’s not okay.

It’s time we made these perverts pay.

It’s time we did something about it.

‘Boys will be boys’ is all you can say.

How about asking if I’m okay.

- Action Hero Falstaff

100 words for Blank Noise

 Never the elevator.

Elevators scare me. Always have.

It has been fifty-five years since I last stepped into an elevator.

It’s hard to always use the stairs. But it’s harder to think of taking the elevator.

Can you understand how helpless a lonely child can be when confronted by a molester inside an elevator with soundproof, cold walls?

No one to help. No one to see. No one to listen. No one to save an innocent childhood. Till the lift door opens again.

Can you see the elevator taking you back to your childhood, a painful, scarred childhood?

I can.

- Action Hero Farukh Naeem

Can you guess who I am?

I dress modestly. I don’t wear flashy make up.

I am not the kind of a lady one would mistake for a call girl or prostitute.

Yet, when I step out of my home, male eyes follow my every move – I often get asked "How much?"

I can feel that no matter what I am wearing, many of these eyes see me as though I was wearing nothing.

As I move about on the streets, the stares turn to whistles, thrusting pelvic moves in a queue, groping hands in a crowded bus.

I am not a caged canary but a human who has to step outside the four walls of her home – for meeting my neighbours, for buying my daily needs, for fresh air.

Yet, it is never easy.

Have you guessed who I am? Have you seen me on the street?

You must have.

I am the mother who bore you. The sister you feel duty-bound to ‘protect’. The girl you fell in love with.

I am the daughter you are one day going to have.

Will you let me be treated this way forever?

Or will you do something about it, today?

- Action Hero Farrukh Naeem

Why there are no Superheroes!

Have been reading up a lot on eve-teasing and related sexual crimes recently owing mainly to the Blanknoise project to create awareness about the issue. I think a "blogathon" on the issue is a great idea. But I decided to do something different with my spot on this blogathon.

I have read a lotta posts regarding experiences of eve-teasing & quite frankly some have been quite disconcerting. But suggestions like castration and the like aside, I wanted to consider why these offenders can be so brazen with their ways. Without falling into the trap of providing statistics, I refuse to believe that a majority of men are eve-teasers, even though most may think it's ok because "she asked for it".

I think the reason why they are so brazen is... the same reason why all criminals/fundamentalists/etc etc are so brazen - the silent majority will not as much as raise a finger to stop them unless they feel that their safety is not being compromised.

Two seperate incidents to make my point (both of which are NOT fiction by the way)

Incident #1:

This happened 3 years ago, when I was still in class XII. I was waiting on this bus stop (La Marts near Minto Park, Kolkata) for a bus home from school. There was also these two slightly shady looking characters who were singing the usual "ek ladki ko dekha to" songs directed to this young college-going female, not beyond her 1st year Iam sure.

Then perhaps taking courage from the apathy of the other people present (there were about 7-8 men), the comments became more personal. They started openly discussing about her boobs & what they wanted do to them. The girl tried to put a brave front by ignoring them altogether but the comments actually became more crude, to the point that a few people present actually started giggling. It was really bad & I actually felt embarrassed, so I spoke up.

Freaky Chakra: Eita ki oshobhotami korchen apnara? (What is this indecency?)

Eve-teaser#1: Beshi rongbaji dekhabi na... nijer kaaj kor (crudely translated - dont cross your line, & mind your own business)

FC: Rongbaji apnara dekhachen (You guys are crossing lines, not me)

ETs: Ki bolchis (what did u say?)

At this the two gentlemen walked upto me, shorter and frailer than them both & still in my school uniform. One of them shoved me, while the other caught my school tie & slapped me twice. Hard. The first made me see stars, the second left me dizzy. All the while they kept hurling the most dirty swear words ever designed by man, questioning everything from my family lineage to my mother & sister's modesty.

A crowd immediately gathered, like crowds always do. Nobody... said anything when they could've easily overpowered the two. Being a busy street, a cop soon came on the scene. He was one of those traffic constable guys. That I felt relieved to see him, would be a gross understatement. When he enquired what was going on... this is what the ETs told him - (translated into english for convinience)

"This kid here is looking for trouble (baawali korche)"

I protested trying to say that I was only trying to protect the girl being eve-teased pointing to the person questioned. She had been watching the whole scene with anxious concern so far. When the cop asked her... (believe it or not) this is what she said –

"I dont know anything. I was just waiting for the bus". No kidding bitch! Which part did you miss? Them plotting how to treat you worse than a common street whore, or me getting slapped & abused for trying to protest? Waiting for the bus - How convinient!

Amazingly, not one of the poeple in the crowd (there musta been about 20 poeple there) uttered a word, even though they all knew what had happened. The ETs started yelling and asked the cop to arrest me & shit. I was shit scared and started crying. Of course the cop knew what was going on & he wasnt gonna arrest me, but I was just plain hysteric.

Get a load of this... I had to actually APOLOGISE to those two, before being let-off with a "warning"!!!!!!

*

I was pretty badly shaken up after this, and it was atleast a few months after this that I came to peace with myself. I can sort of understand now why the girl did that, but even so I do not think I forgive her for doing so. And as for the others in the crowd, letting a school kid getting madhandled by a couple of goons... well, that is the reason why nobody ever stops from anyone from feeling up your daughters & sisters! That is the reason why there are no "superheroes"!!

Incident #2:

I felt that the 1st one was kind of depressing & negative, so I wanted to share another experience which ended on a more positive note

This happened fairly recently, after I had joined college. I was returning home in a bus one day. It was very crowded and there was this fairly young female standing near my seat. Just behind her stood a slightly tallish middle-aged man, evidently drunk and evidently falling a little too much her inspite of the crowded bus & its lurching movement. The girl gave him quite a number of intimidating, dirty looks and her share of "pich-pich" sounds, but this man was not fazed and kept on sort of dry humping her back every time the bus swerved a little.

I had had enough. I got up & offered my seat to the thankful female & positioned myself between the drunk & her. Instead of being discouraged he fell over me even more in an attempt to gain access to her. His drunk breath gave me further assurance, that in case of any trouble I could "handle" this person. Iam sure a lot of others felt the same because they too started giving him stares. Outnumbered, he sobered up for the moment.

When the girl got up to leave... he too made for the exit. Even though it was some 5-6 bus stops away from my home, I got down too so I could keep an eye on what happened. As soon as we got down, this guy moved forward and caught the girl by her hand. She raised an alarm. I got involved immediately as did a two others who had got down at the same stop.

Seeing that the ET was a) Drunk, and b) outnumbered... a few more people in the vicinity also joined in and soon there was a big crowd and it was open season for everyone. Blacken his face said someone, take him to the police said someone else.

But the girl in question just quickly dismissed the whole thing and hurriedly disappeared from the spot. Seeing that the victim was not interested in the ET, the crowd to let him off... & I was back where it all started.

What I could not understand why, inspite of having such a huge crowd backing her did that female not take the bastard to the police! Of course good girls from good families dont get involved in such a mess.

Overheard after the entire fracas:

"Basically they are all sluts, they enjoy all this... that is why they never do anything about it".

I couldnt help but wonder, if the guy was not drunk and alone, if I would've had the courage to be as upfront as I was. But what about these two females? They had been personally wronged. Why could they not speak up? Why could they not do something about it?

Why could they not do anything to be labelled as victims and not sluts?

- Action Hero Freaky Chakra

Innocence of the French Girls

This happened a couple of years back. A big crowd of European students descended upon IIM Lucknow as a part of the Student Exchange program in the fifth term. Most of these students were girls, and so we had a big crowd of French "babes" studying with us for an entire term.

One night a few friends and I had gone to the city for dinner. IIML is around 10 km from the city and the institute has an hourly bus service to and from the city. The last bus from the city leaves at 10:30 pm. We had finished our dinner, and taken cycle rickshaws back to the Purnia Chauraha, a place from where we board the bus.

As we approached the place, we noticed something strange. It was a group of French students, four of them female and one of them male, standing at the bus stop, laughing and talking amongst themselves. They were very clearly having a great time. What was strange was that around them, in a radius of about 15 metres, stood at least 25 guys. These guys were the roughneck types, and they were standing in two or three groups, staring at the French girls, talking amongst themselves. Me and my friends were standing a few feet away, buying fruits.

We then noticed that a few guys started creeping closer and closer to the French group. One guy, who was on a bicycle, started riding it in a circle very close to them. A few other guys were very obviously discussing something animatedly, and we weren't sure what the topic of discussion was, but one of us heard the words "apni maruti van kaafi hogi" (our maruti van will be enough).

All this was happening very fast and by the time we bought fruits and moved towards the bus stop (there were 6 of us, all desi guys) the group of shady looking guys were spread uniformly all around the French students. It almost looked as if all these guys were also waiting for a bus back to IIML. Their intentions were very clear.

We walked up to the French students and started talking to them about the evening and other stuff. Within a few seconds I noticed a change in the attitude and demeanour of the guys around us. Suddenly they seemed to have discovered the concept of "space" and "privacy". The cyclist stopped cycling around us, and a few of them left almost immediately. The group started dispersing and within a few minutes, the street was deserted, with just us students waiting for the bus.

I found two things extremely remarkable that night. One was the difference in the attitude of the group of men towards a group of four women and one man, as opposed to four women and seven men. I have no clue what they were planning to do, and giving them the benefit of the doubt, I will assume the men just wanted to examine from close quarters the firang girls. I will assume that there was no "ulterior" motive of harrassment or worse. But earlier they were "examining" them from extremely close quarters, and when 6 desi guys joined the girls, suddenly they backed off.

The second thing is, that the French students had barely noticed what happened. When we spoke to them about the group of men surrounding them, they seemed puzzled. Yes, they had noticed a lot of men around, but they had assumed all of them were waiting for the bus. They seemed a bit amused at the advice that it would be unsafe to stay out so late unless there were at least two or three guys with them.

The French students displayed a kind of "innocence" about this whole issue which made me realise how bad things are for women in India as compared to a place like, say, France. Here we had four girls standing on a street at night in India, with a big group of men staring at them, seemingly advancing towards them, and yet they didn't notice it or feel alarmed. Because incidents of women being harrassed by strange men on the streets in France are very rare.

Contrast this with Indian girls who are always cautious and wary of any strange man they see on the street. This caution and wariness is a result of years of conditioning due to harrassment that they have to face on the streets of India.

- Action Hero Gaurav Sabnis

The Outrage Factor

Blank Noise saw heavy participation, and chronicled some rather shocking incidents of harrassment which we didn't know happen around us. As Gawker commented somewhere, it was eye-opening, because growing up as a carefree boy in India, one has no idea about the hell that girls go through.

Some have questioned the purpose of the Blogathon itself. Some think that parts of it encourage shrill feminism which paint all men with the same brush. Some find the exercise rather pointless.

The purpose of the blogathon in my eyes, is an attempt to spread awareness about what is happening, and also the "outrage" or "shame". Is it going to stop eve teasing altogether? Obviously not. So what is the point?

I think the point of the project or the purpose was achieved when the first guy who read it felt a combination of shame and outrage. Not because the guy himself used to fondle women, and will stop doing so because of this. But because with an increase in the shame and outrage there is a small increase in society's overall outrage factor. And with a lot of guys feeling the same way, there will be a decent amount of increase in the "outrage factor".

What is the practical need for the outrage factor? Firstly, what is an outrage factor? Loosely, it can be defined as the consensus reached in society that a certain act is wrong/bad/damaging/immoral/unethical enough to cause outrage to most of its component. As a result of this consensus the society can put in place a punishment which will act as a deterrent to someone involved in that act.

In a society where personal freedom is well-defined and protected under the legal system, the outrage factor is not useful at all. The question of what you can and can not do is defined on the basis of these well-defined freedoms, and the outrage factors, as John Cleese would say, "don't intrude with it". An excellent example of the futility of the outrage factor in case of such well-defined freedoms would be the one Ravikiran cited of the United States where you can't pass laws to ban burning the American flag. The outrage factor would certainly be high. But it still doesn't overshadow freedom.

Now sadly, we in India do not live in a society which has clearly defined freedoms. In fact the definition of freedom in India is as fuzzy as it can get with a million footnotes and caveats, making you wonder whether freedom is a right or a privilege.

In such a society, punishments or deterrents imposed are framed as well as executed, not on the basis of the sacrosanct definition of freedom, but on the basis of the outrage factor. So practically speaking, the only way to get society to impose costs is to take that outrage factor to a critical mass.

It is my contention that in India, there is a cost/deterrent for robbing a house not because the robbers have violated some rights of the house owner, but because "stealing is wrong". This overwhelming consensus on the wrongness of stealing ensures the presence of such a law and that the law is imposed with a reasonable amount of sincerity.

But eve teasing or street harrassment is not seen by society as that big a deal. It is still not considered wrong/bad/damaging/immoral/unethical enough to cause outrage. Hence the Indian society imposes no effective cost on it. Even the few laws which are in place are not implemented properly. The simple reason is that the people around the victim, say the police, or her acquaintances just do not feel or share the outrage. And sadly, people sharing your outrage is a major factor, if not the only factor, that is useful in getting justice, or imposing a deterrent.

This is not how it should be, of course. Laws and deterrents should not be put in place based on the outrage factor, or sometimes it leads to some laws which end up trampling freedoms. The banning of dance bars is one example, and the law which makes homosexuality ounishable is another. These two laws are in place not to impose a cost on infringing someone's rights, but to impose a cost on "doing something unethical" and outraging the society.

If you recognize this role played by the outrage factor, you will realise that eve teasing is rampant in India because the lack of the intensity of its outrage factor which precludes putting in place an effective deterrent.

Towards this end, the Blank Noise Project is making a difference. How much of a difference is hard to say. But as I said, even if one person feels more strongly about eve teasing, it is useful because it adds to the component of outrage factor. One day I hope it reaches a critical mass.

The reason why BNP is important currently is that the ignorance or indifference about it is very high. I was shocked to read many incidents where women were harrassed as girls, but since they were confused and unsure about what happened, they did not tell their parents or create a ruckus. Yet imagine the same girls, in the event of something being stolen from them(let's say candy). Would they have stayed silent? Obviously not. A girl, whether she was aged 6,8 or 10, would immediately tell her parents that someone stole her candy. Because stealing is wrong.

Similarly if parents start mentioning explicitly to their children that a man fondling you or groping you is wrong, it will give the kid enough awareness to yell at the first instance of it happening. That a lot of girls were confused after their first instance of harrassment shows that parents are not doing enough to make their kids aware.

Parents not doing enough to proactively tell their children about this is one side of the coin. The other side being the sheer apathy of the "people in charge" i.e cops or office bearers. An autowallah in Delhi tried to rape a friend of mine. She managed to kick, scream, fight back and make him run away. When she was planning to file a police complaint, the Principal of her college (a supposedly 'modern' and 'forward' college) tried to dissuade her saying it would bring unnecessary bad publicity to the college. I will give the same analogy... would the Princi say this to a student whose bike would have been stolen on the streets?

It is correct to say that things have deteriorated so much in India due to lack of a cost. But remember, we have a 'splendid' society and legal system where costs are imposed on the basis of ethics and morality rather than an objective definition of freedom and rights.

- Action Hero Gaurav Sabnis

Another Drop in the Ocean

 Late as usual, but I will have my say. I've been reading the posts written as part of the Blank Noise blog-a-thon and I am enraged all over again. It all sounds so distressingly familiar - the groping, the leering, the pinching. I've been away from it for nearly a decade now, and you would think that time would have obliterated the details. But no, I remember each incident like it happened this morning. I remember how it happened, when it happened and what I did, or rather didn't do, for in many of the instances, I was too shocked and too confused to react. I'd like to think I would react differently today, that I would kick harder, scream louder, but I don't know for sure.

The night journeys from Bangalore to Mangalore started off as enjoyable trips with friends, talking away the night, softly humming our favorite songs, discussing movies, books, classes, looking forward to the new adventures that the coming semester would bring. Until, that is, on one of those trips, I felt hands groping me through the narrow gap between the seat back and bottom. With the naivete that we are all lamenting now, I dismissed it as an accident. Maybe the guy had rested his foot on my seat and hadn't realized that he was encroaching. Then, it happened again. This time, I stood up and looked back at the men in the seats behind mine. Of course, they were fast asleep. I whispered to my friend who was in the seat next to me, and I knew then that I wasn't imagining things - she had felt it too. I settled back into my own seat, nervous and edgy. I couldn't sleep now, of course, so I waited for what I knew would happen. A few minutes later, I felt lecherous fingers prying again. This time, I yanked. There was a yelp from the seat behind us, a little hustle and then silence. I was not done, though. I walked up to the conductor woke him up and told him what was happening. I hadn't expected him to do much. He certainly wasn't going to throw those animals off the bus. All I asked him to do was move those men to a different seat at the back of the bus, so I wouldn't have to stay up all night, tense and afraid to fall asleep. Not only did the conductor refuse to do anything, he actually tried to make me feel guilty that I had made a big deal of nothing and had woken up a bus full of people with my complaining. After a while, I gave up and went back to my seat ready to raise a real hue and cry if anything was tried again. Nothing happened - I guess the beastly are also cowardly.

Like so many of the women who have written in with their stories, I had not told anyone about this incident, or any of the others. Different places, different times, different perpetrators - the common thread is the emotions they evoked in me then (paranoia, distrust, disgust, anger) - and the reaction it evokes in me now - I want to reach back in time and slap, kick and scream. The worst part, always, was seeing the perp walk away, leering, grinning, knowing that he had gotten away. But, isn't that why we are all here now, to see that he doesn't get away? Not again. The first step towards solving a problem is recognizing that there is a problem. And speaking out. Not hiding. Not mincing words. Saying it like it is. Here's to the Blank Noise Project and all the courageous women out there who are trying to make a difference. We deserve better, and we have to stand up and demand it.

- Action Hero Gayathri Raghavendra

Here. I'll stereotype.

No woman (or man) deserves to be raped or be forced to defend against unwanted sexual advances of any kind, whether it be a "harmless" remark, kiss, or touch. Men that partake in such activities have no honor nor the worth to exist as a human being.

Well, now that we've dispersed with that.

Women should be treated with respect and reverence, as should all creatures that walk upon this earth. But a woman who does not respect herself first and foremost cannot (may not) command it from her fellow beings. I understand the freedom to dress as you choose and select as you please. There is very little law enforcement here in America involved in what a woman cannot wear in public. Rules exist, but hardly enforced.

Here. I'll stereotype.

Walking down the streets of New York City in a skimpy mini skirt, gossamer thin tube top (which makes it apparent that no bra is worn) and three inch stiletto heels topped with fishnet stockings complete the image. The woman sways down the street and elicits a few howls, a few comments, and maybe a few over zealous and bold passerbys. Maybe she has the grave misfortune to walk into the wrong alley, or bump into the wrong person. Maybe something worse happens. Did she deserve her treatment? I honestly say, no, of course she did not. But did she attract the attention upon herself? Yes, I believe she did.

As a woman (girl), I have never understood the desire of another woman to set herself on display in such a fashion. To show her assets. Oh my, look how large her breasts are. How long her legs are. Look how tiny her waist is. Obviously, America is very liberal. Some European countries are liberal-er. In my opinion, this is a way of debasing ourselves and setting such a discouraging manner. Please, lets leave that up to show biz and Hollywood, hmm?

Women are still hurt, of course. They have been hurt for quite some time and, sadly, will continued to be hurt come time and time again. It does not matter whether she wear a sari or a burka. Whether she attracts the attention or not. It still happens, even if she's covered very decently head to toe; dupatta and all. Part of me wonders wether God decides to sleep those awful moments; why such abusers are ever created. Why they're allowed to leave and poison the air we breathe.

I was in India this past summer. I've witnessed the eve teasings, the leers, the double entendres and the eventual gropes that juxtapose such words. Men's eyes follow women, whether be thin or fat, ugly or beautiful. The overcrowded buses allow these indecent men to cop a feel. The men that raid the train's women's compartments at nights (and even at day). This does not just occur there but all over the world, but my experiences are very limited.

Setting personal experiences aside, I would like to say that there are more decent men out there. There are those who choose to be protectors rather than abusers.

So, my few and fellow readers. Participate in the Blank Noise Project. Visit Holla Back NYC.

Speak up and say no. And do leave a comment or two.

For far more superior reads on this subject, visit Known Turf, Mumbai Girl, or Witchy Angel. There are also a plethora of links posted on the Blank Noise Project homepage.

- Action Hero Gerz / fLwrLaK

No man is an island, entire of itself

The Blank Noise blogathon has generated a number of eloquent, stomach-churning accounts of street harassment in cities across India. Women and some men, too, have concretised their experiences and raised their voices against a crime which transcends geography, cultures and financial and religious backgrounds. There has been an outpouring of responses to these posts- expressing sympathy and solidarity by women, and shock and support by men.

However, and this is what my post is about, there have also been those (few) comments which have questioned the regularity and pervasiveness of street harassment. Which, though expressing shock at the incidents, have shrugged them as one-off. Responses that are quotidien from many other men as well, who refuse to believe in a truth staring a half of the population in the eye (and other areas too, if you excuse the pun).

My post is for such self-deluding men. It is also for the men who choose silence over action, who profess helplessness while watching a woman being molested, and who take voyeuristic pleasure in crimes enacted before their eyes. You may not yourselves have indulged in harassment- good for you- but uninvolvement does not equal remedy.

For, you see, you are undeniably and inextricably a part of both the problem as well as the solution.

By choosing not to identify it, you magnify the crisis and reduce the scope for its resolution that much more. By not acting or speaking out against it, you render futile the efforts of other men and women who do, and at the same time give a tacit nod of approval to molesters. You tell them, " I was too sissy to grab her ass, but you did great, brother. Way to go!"

There is a problem. Believe this. There is a slimy undercurrent in every public space of every city (and I'm not even entering the private sphere right now). You might not notice it because you lack the requisite optical capacities. Women develop a finely-tuned, state-of-the-art, all-pervasive sensory apparatus which gives them a view of the world much more different, much more dangerous than yours. It is a survival tactic required of every girl who wishes to reach womanhood safely.

I speak from over a decade of personal experience. I'm overqualified, in fact. I have stayed my whole life in a city that has a public transport service called The Blue Line, for crying out loud.

If you still don't believe it, picture this- that you are like the beings in the city outside of the Matrix; and we, the women who suffer from street harassment, its inhabitants - Neo, Trinity, Morpheus, the gang. We move through the self-same city as you do, but know that the vision of calm that it projects is but a false illusion. The only difference is, there isn't going to be any One who will save humanity.

There is a solution. One in which you may be able to have a larger impact than any of our efforts combined. Being a problem which highlights an acute polarization of genders, it seems valid for the solution, too, to be gendered- that men speak out against and punish offending men. Men condemn molestation in every degree and form, telling their fellow sex that their deeds and habits are inexcusable, atrocious, horrible, criminal. Men ostracize members of their clan, even those who wear the badge of 'friends'.

Molesters expect some retaliation from women. But instant and forceful condemnation by men might just act as the high voltage fence preventing them from ever trespassing again.

Which is why I commend the few male bloggers who have spoken out against the menace of street harassment. To all the rest of you, I say- Look around. Open your eyes. Accept the problem. Speak up. Hit out. Because for every woman who suffers this hell, a son/husband/brother experiences its invisible but certain corrosive ripple effects.

You are a part of a delicate societal matrix which, with each blow to its members, gets even more tattered, leaving them with only that much more space to cling safely to. Which is why, if not for anything but selfish reasons, you have the perfect excuse to take a stand now and speak out against sexual harassment.

............................................................................................

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine own were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.

-John Donne (Meditation XVII of Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions)

-Action Hero Girija

Making a "Nonissue" an Issue

Come, write about the times you don't talk about because it seems too mundane, too everyday, to regular to seem like a 'story' enough. Come, talk about the times someone violated your body by a 'mere' touch, a 'mere' look and a 'mere' obscenity. Man, woman, does not matter -- it happens to all of us.

I was 9, perhaps, when a man on a busy market road touched my crotch.

Age 10 - held back from grabbing a football from the trio i was playing with, held back by a man who thought the best way to restrain a girl was to squeeze her chest -so what if she barely had breasts.

Blurry images come to mind, of similar gropings. No clear images. But know there are many.

A few images later, the story changes.

Age 15 - A man rammed into me on a desserted street. for the first time I hit back. A loud thwack on his back and a mumbled 'galti se ho gayaa madam' was what I got.

Age 17 - A man followed me and a friend, from college to elsewhere. All along describing his organ to us and telling us what it does. I made the action of a backhanded slap and then walked on.

Age 18 - A rickshaw wallah drove and masturbated while I sat alone in the rickshaw, clueless at first about why he drove so badly.

Age 19 - Groped while getting out of a General Compartment in a train. A firm attempt to tell me where I should belong?

I still hit them, it has become easier to do it now. It has also become easier to not worry about hitting the wrong guy (so what if I do!) because the eve teaser usually sinks into the crowd before you know it. remember a woman telling me 'don't worry about hitting the wrong guy, 'usne dekhke nahin chheda . tune dekhke nahin maara'. Works for me!

It has not happened for a long time. Don't know if it is a sign of indian lafangas finally growing up, or is it just my holding my hands up like I'm a robot, in an attempt to clarify 'this is my space and you can reach no further'.

edit - the idea of designing this entry as a chronological piece by presenting experiences alongside ages - the idea was not entirely original but inspired by www.knownturf.blogspot.com

the writer in me wanted to acknowledge her. thank you, ma'm wherever you are.

- Action Hero Gitika

Bibiji Zyara Dheere Maro

In an excursion through the Blogosphere, I came across this place—The Blank Noise Project. The point it makes is that leching at women is an offense. Not just groping and passing vulgarities (which undeniably are)

Even looking at girls, with unclean thoughts, is a crime.

Let me quote:

Men, ruled by libidos, do things like this. As junk_alpha pointed out, demeaning thoughts may not be an offense under the law. But what about the scars left on a woman when it happens? The feeling that your body is dirty and unworthy, that’s a playground only for lust and not tenderness? Is legality the only space for this? What about humane sensitivity?

My regular readers (yes I know that is a very exclusive group) would know that I find the argument ” Provocatively-dressed ladies ask for it” to be morally repugnant. But at the same time I feel that the above hyper-feminist point of view goes too far.

If a girl wears provocative clothes ( and of course the word ‘provocative’ is a very subjective word….in Afghanistan it’s exposing your cheeks….face cheeks that is) then I am of the belief that men have the right to look. And the right to think.

Just as the feminist’s argument for dressing provocatively is “It’s my body and I am free to flaunt it” ( as articulated in this line from a song in a B-grade Bollywood movie called “Vijeta”–

“Ghunghat mein mukhre ko kyon main chupayoon, Rup diya Ram ne to kyon na dikhanoon”) , I can also say, in the same way, “It’s my eyes and I am free to look. It’s my mind and I am free to think.”

A caveat. “It’s my hands and it’s free to touch what it likes” does not cut it cause the activity of ‘touching’ is a reciprocal one—-a touch involves two parties and any touch is “illegal” as long as both parties do not agree beforehand that it is desired. However looking at someone is not “reciprocal” and certainly not thinking.

And just like feminists resist people labeling them because of their choice of dress, (ie loose women dress provocatively), they should accord men the same dignity by not labeling them
according to what they may be thinking and where their eyes are going.

“Look Mamma I am showing some cleavage —-that’s fine, I got em……not harming anyone but that horrible man is looking at them…..my mind is permanently burnt up now.”

If you do not want attention, then your dress should represent that choice.

Of course, dressing conservatively still does not mean that men wont look or think “Dhak dhak karne laga” but it does reduce the chance if it really bothers you that much.

I have had this conversation before with my female friends and the overwhelming majority of them say that they don’t mind getting looked at, even enjoy it if the guy is worth looking at too. Noone enjoys getting groped and my argument is not there—-it’s about why feminists have to make even decent men, who may steal a glance or two, feel like a serial rapist who has “defiled their soul” by virtue of their glances. The contention that looks leave scars on a womans mind is , well, overstating the case.

The second point I wish to make is…in all the posts on sexual harassment raging on in the desi blogosphere there is one group of people who everyone has forgotten. Men. Why is it that whenever a girl says that someone is “looking at her” , people go “Chi chi ghar main ma bahen nahin hain?” while when a man says that a girl is looking at him lasciviously, everyone (girls and boys) start laughing.

We had a guy at Stonybrook who was very meterosexual—-spending hours a day grooming and putting face packs every Friday night. He always used to claim, in all seriousness, that he was sick and tired of girls treating him as a sex object and denuding him with their eyes. Everyone laughed at him and girls ,when told about his accusations against them, would say :

“What does he think of himself?”

“Just another pathetic way to get attention.”

“Does he ever look at himself in the mirror—-does he think he is John Abraham?”

Now why did noone, even stark feminists among the Stonybrook junta, ever believe that his soul was actually being scarred by the x-ray visions of females?

Because he was a man.

Because the assumption is that women are different—they do not ogle or mentally strip men. Because the assumption is that even if they might do it to John Abraham, they will never do it to people like the guy I mentioned. And because the assumption is no man, even if he is ogled, would feel genuinely distressed and cry about it—he would feel thankful.

Now arent these assumptions stereotypes along the lines of “Women should stay in the kitchen”?

Which brings me to the crux of my point—–why the reverse discrimination?

Case in point.

Principal secretary (home) and Bhopal superintendent of police on Thursday apparently bore the brunt of the embarrassment CM Babulal Gaur faced a day before when activists of an NGO demonstrated against him in front of the state BJP headquarters, accompanied by two men whose wives they said had been seduced by the CM into an illicit relationship. Members of Mahila Utpiran Virodhi Morcha alleged that the chief minister was breaking the homes of two men whose wives, Shagufta and Shameena, he had seduced into illicit relationships.

Babuji zara dheere chalo. You have “seduced” two innocent women. Which is a crime against the female species because the Mahila mandal (Mahila Utpiran Virodhi Morcha which translates to Movement against Torture of Women) says so.

Read a bit more.

Incidentally, a month ago, Shagufta Kabir, chief of the state’s Panch Ja Project with a MOS rank, beat up her husband Salim and broke his bones.

Broke his bones? The innocent lady who is being predated upon broke the bones of her husband? A month ago? Where was the “Purush Utpiran Virodhi Morcha” then?

Of course they were not there———because they just don’t exist.

So now the MUVM is taking up the cause of the two husbands—-not because they are being bashed up by their wives, but because someone else is “snatching” their wives away. Again the guilty person is the man doing the seducing and not the women (hence the “utpiran” part).

Concluding…..ok ladies come on now…….looking is not a crime…..imaginative thoughts are also not a crime as long as you do not act on them without mutual consent.

And also please remember the old saying:

” Sticks and stones do hurt our bones.”

Names———–we are used to.

-Action Hero Great Bong

A fable against Street Harassment

A modern Indian Fable that shows how street harrasment is handled and percieved.

In the town of Alpadrishti, there lived a man named Aparajita.This man was neither rich nor poor but somewhere in between.As wealthy as one needs to be, for oneself and for one's loved ones.Once he wanted to attend a wedding in the neighbouring town.So he spent his hard-earned money and acquired a nice silk shirt, a new dhoti, a silk turban, jewelry so that he could look presentable.As he was making his trips to the local merchants, he noticed a few men watching him.He ignored them and continued walking.

These men were a band of thieves united under their leader Chapalachitta.They were watching Aparajita's movements and Chapalachitta was tempted by his newly-acquired luxuries.They plotted and planned to plunder him.One night in the wee hours when no creatures but the nocturnals stirred they slowly entered Aparajita's home.He and his family were fast asleep.Chapalachitta and his gang looted the house.As they were making their exit,Aparajita woke up and screamed and the thieves were caught red-handed.

As was the custom in the town,they were taken to the Panchayat which was headed by Mitamati, the village chieftain.Mitamati asked chapalachitta to explain and he said , "Well I saw Aparajita buying a lot of stuff in the marketplace and it tempted me.It was all his fault.He should not have bought all this at once."

Aparajita, was too shocked to explain his stance and was silent.

Mitamati, thought for a while and looked at Chapalachitta and said,
"Well! Chapalachitta you are right.How dare he tempt you!

He then looked at Aparajita and said,

"Shame on you Aparajita! You are guilty of materialism and acquiring too many things at once.If you had planned your purchases and behaved in moderation you would not have attracted his attention.Perhaps you wanted that, being brought before the panchayat and be the center of attention.You probably even enjoyed being robbed. Aparajita! It is all your fault.The belongings are rightfully Chapalachitta's.

Thus to this day several Aparajita's are wronged and the actions of perpetrators justified.Their silence only works against them. So Support BLANK NOISE PROJECT

Notes: (for the non-sanskritists)

Alpadrishti - shortsightedness .

Aparajita - The unconquered.Represents all women who were subject to various forms of street harassment

Chapalachitta - One whose mind gets tempted.The roadside romeo who thinks he can bullt every passing woman

Mitamati - Narrowminded.

- Action Hero Guptavati

Potru Anbu...

"Potru Anbu"... You might remember this dialogue during the encounter scene in the movie Kaakha Kaakha.

Thats exactly what I was thinking when Surya points his gun at the eve teaser and scares the living day lights out of him - "Potru Anbu".

While Tamil and Indian movies exaggerate a lot, the eve teasing scenes are very real or even very mellow when compared to what happens in real life. That is how bad the situation on the streets for our women.

It is so wide spread and common, that things like eve teasing are considered normal or even worse, heroic. This got to change and it got to change real fast. The message should be loud and clear - eve teasing is not acceptable in any shape or form.

Its good that we have started a dialogue with this blanknoise blogathon. We now have to see what steps that need to be taken by the people participating in the dialogue to prevent eve teasing from happening.

My suggestion - Eve teasing is a monster and it should be tackled by something bigger than that. We can't place police every where to prevent this. So what is the solution.

Not long ago there were huge agitations by the so called saviors of Thamizh against everything from naming the movies in English to interfering in the freedom of speech. Those are the people we should be using in our fight against the evil of eve teasing.

The blogathon organisers should seek an appointment with the politicians in their respective states and should insist the importance of getting rid of this menace. With constant prodding the politicans will budge because it will boost their image among women. Then their muscle power should be used against the Romeos that mess with our women. When we get the politicans the media circus will then follow.

I can easily imagine Dr.Ramadoss and his activists going against these people everywhere from bus stops to movie halls. From them, the public will pick it up and soon we can send a sound message to eve teasers that it is not good to disrespect women.

Imagine the valentines day crashing Shiv Sainiks going after the eve teasers, boy that would be a scene to behold. Instead of working against the big and relatively bad politicians we should work with them and use their organized cadre to eradicate the evil. We should get into the system and fight from with in and not stand from outside and stop just making some internet noise.

- Action Hero Hellboy

Blank

Shhhhhh,

shhhhhh,

Shhhhhh.

Don’t tell.

Don’t yell.

Take this in your

mouth.

Take this in your

mouth.

This should

shut you up

for life.

In hell.

- Action Hero Kaaju katli

On street harrassment and the like

When I committed myself to participating in Blank Noise’s blogathon, I really wasn’t sure what to say. I avoid overly personal posts on this blog; I don’t feel comfortable sharing that much in a public space. If you want a personal, eloquent post, Annie’s achieved it better than I could ever hope to here.The best I can do at the moment is a few random, unconnected thoughts on the subject.

***

I’ve always found the maa-behen argument against eve teasing rather insulting to both men and women. It’s effective, yes. But to me all it really indicates is that the only reason a man should not harass me is not that I am a person who deserves to be treated with respect, but because the thought of someone treating my harasser’s sister in the same way grosses him out. It’s all about the harasser and women are reduced to somebody else’s mothers and somebody else’s sisters, rather than real people, worthy of respect in their own right. It depresses me that this is the best we can hope for, this is the only argument that seems to work.

***

There’s a difference between a stare and a leer. Being stared at is a sort of compliment. Everyone wants to look good, and it’s gratifying to be noticed sometimes. A leer is not a look of admiration. It’s the establishment of a power equation (an equation which is concretised in actual, physical rape.). It does not say “I’m attracted to you”, its aim is to make the subject uncomfortable. It says “I’m going to look at you whether you like it or not, because I can. I know you’re uncomfortable, and you can’t do anything about it.” The problem is, both the stare and the leer come under the heading of “just looking”, which sounds completely harmless. You can’t legislate against just looking, people are free to look at whoever they like, and certainly their thoughts and motives cannot be regulated. But every woman who has experienced both types of looking knows the difference, and knows equally well that there is no way to explain that difference to someone who doesn’t face it every day.(I hate the argument that says “you’ve never been through XYZ so you can’t possibly understand” because it has such potential for misuse, but honestly what else can one say in a debate like this one?) And I hate the arguments that talk about how evil feminists want to be privileged, want to control men’s thoughts, want to be allowed more space than men are allowed, simply because they are women, want to ‘portray’ themselves as the weaker sex. I’m an (evil) feminist, and what I want is to be able to step out of my house without being constantly reminded of that power equation. And since no amount of legislation can do this for me, I’m left helpless.

***

It’s one of the clichés of Bollywood movie songs. The pretty girl walks down the street or onto the college campus, or any public space really. The hero sees and likes and bursts into song. The pretty girl is visibly embarrassed and tries to escape, but the hero mysteriously pops up everywhere. The viewer is (allowing for differences in character) either feeling sorry for the girl or cheering the hero on. But at the end of the song we learn there’s no need to feel sorry for her – she comes around, she’s flattered and pleased, this is what she wanted all along.

And I wonder how many of the men who burst into song on the roads really expect to get the girl, whether they believe that strange fantasy can actually come true for them. I can laugh off the singing because I can tell myself it’s harmless, or at least well intentioned.

***

I’m not supposed to travel alone at night. My dad’s paranoid, and so am I, I feel threatened when I travel alone. This means that I can either not go out or ask a male friend to drop me home. Not going out implies an acceptance of the situation (I am a woman and I cannot go out without men, I am to willingly accept that women should stay at home.) But I hate being dependent on my friends. Most of the time I’m with them I’m one of them, we watch sports, listen to music, do various other gender-neutral friend things. When it’s time to go home, we are suddenly reminded that they are boys and can go home alone and that I am a girl and need them. I need *special* treatment.

At the Jazz Utsav in November someone I knew in school (but not very well) had to take a massive detour on his way home just to drop me off safely. A close friend had to waste his time making sure I got home alive. Such things are at best hugely embarrassing, and terribly demoralising. I know my friends will keep me safe. I hate that they have to. Sometimes I'd kill to be one of the guys.

- Action Hero Kaleidoglide

Listening, Looking, Ignoring

I’ve been a spectator for a while now.

I watched silently, Krishna in tow, when a bunch of classmates decided to take a peek into the girls dressing room on a trip to Bangalore. And listened to their stories - much exaggerated, much embellished - afterwards, and wondered for a second if Krishna and I had missed out on something. Later, guilt.

I expressed a bit of disbelief and not much more when I heard that some of the guys that I studied with worked. Where working means getting off standing behind a girl in a crowded bus. Really getting off.

I’ve seen a lot. In buses and movie theaters, upscale malls and vegetable markets. From catcalls to breathing down the neck, from elbowing a fellow passenger to things a bit more than elbowing. Everytime, a silent “What the…” and I’ve moved on. Sometimes, not even that.

And for the last week, I’ve watched an incredible lineup of posts for the Blank Noise Blogathon, and stayed silent myself.

Until now, until this post. In the hope that something’ll come out of it all.

- Action Hero Karthik

Eve Teasing..A Three Pronged Attack

This morning the topmost item on the agenda was to write on the topic as promised. Sheer force of habit led me to the papers. The following headlines caught my eye'Eve teaser shoots at lawyer trying to save kin'. This occurrence , that too , today of all days, when a marathon is in progress, a blog a thon against it.

Apparently, the said lawyer 'Meher Bhargava' acted in retaliation to four hooligans who had passed lewd comments against her daughter-in law, Kavita. She objected to their behaviour. One of them took out a country made revolver and shot her on the neck. She is presently battling for her life. Incidentally the incident occurred right outside the house of the SSP. The police stationed there did not budge, despite being witness to the happenings.

While one cannot help feeling inwardly proud of Meher, the plight she finds herself in is shameful. The incident only triggers a host of questions and responses .There seem to be so many layers to the incident, that seem intertwined, the least not being that the assailants had a criminal record , alogside political connections. Manu Sharma has been unceremoniously ostracised in his own town Chandigarh apart from the mess of a retrial and the triumph of the citizen.Don't these kind give up?

To avoid deviating from the topic of the day, however, what needs to be noted is that the average woman today has decided to fight this attack on her space, tooth and nail. In this case, Meher, was protecting her daughter-in-law, which is such refreshing news,also the fact that she must therefore have been a middle aged person if not a senior citizen. But age was not a deterrent. Kudos to her for that.

The question is 'Are we ever going to be rid of this menace?' Even if it may not get totally rooted out, Imo there is a hope that it may dwindle in occurrence in cities and metros. For this to become a reality, we women, the police and the common man have to play an interactive and complementary role.

It is indeed pitiable that we have to implore for public participation , when it should have been the bounden duty of every citizen, regardless of gender to aid a victim. I have personally been a witness to a young girl beng harassed, at a so called elitist theatre. But apart from myself and another woman, no other male chose to involve himself. I leave it to your imaginaion to fathom how that male was shamed and browbeaten at his ludicrous games. I doubt he will ever venture that sphere of activity again. On second thoughts..who knows?

It is not so much about how these men view us. It is more about how they view themselves. Lack of self esteem is the basis of the problem . No self respecting man would stoop to such behaviour. Apart from that it stems from decaying moral structure, lack of social training , emotional delinquency, illiteracy. Of course, here one is not referring to the proverbial male who has not got rid of his wolfish animalistic cloak, even after aeons of rebirths. Some just refuse to evolve.

Here I would like to aver that it would be unfair to categorise all males as suspect. There are a number of men I know who balk at the idea as much as we do and have been vocal about it in circumstances that required them to be . It seems arbitrary to consider this a male compulsion. Suffice to say that it is a menace existing in our society which needs to be dealt with urgently and stringently.

Some self righteous males, often quote the dress code of 'women today' as the sole cause.What rubbish!!Its not as if women in the days of our mother were not molested. The topic itself was so taboo, that it was hushed up in embarassed silences.The idea that a woman who dresses provocatively and therefore inviting rape or molestation, is chauvunistic to the core, and can stem only from sick minds. Freedom , when it comes to women, becomes a matter of endorsement by males, therefore conditional. Can not a woman wear what she feels like wearing?

For the same reason the burkha is the classic example to my mind of male domination. Recently we were told of a case where a woman was found running in the road at 2am ,nude. Obviously it had to be traumatic. God knows what the circumstances were. Would a male, take off his shirt to cover her, or his pant to rape her, thinking that she is asking for it?? This is what society as a whole should answer., and males in particular

The role of law enforcing agents can not be under estimated. "Spare the rod and spoil the child' a maxim if interpreted in this context would be as applicable. The fear of police punishment has proven to be efficacious. It just needs to have more teeth and less red tapism. Much ease in the process, that a victim can walk up to a police station or a cop with complete conviction that her plea will be addressed and redressed. Not in doubt, as often happens now, as to whether the cross questionong is going to shame her further into regretting that she decided to seek redressal.

A three pronged attack is therefore a viable solution, with women believing in the 'shakti" they embody, the Police living up to their primary role of benfactors and the common man essaying the role of concerned and responsible citizen.

If all of this happens as envisaged,then the days of "adam teasing' are nearing. Soon netizen males will be thinking up means to stave off offending female advances.. Just Kidding.

- Action Hero Kaveetaa